Six-thirty, I
attended Hobee. She rose up very early, maybe due to a mosquito intruded our
mosquito net. She has two bites on her forehead.
Seven, she
fell asleep again. I, too, lie down.
We had no
breakfast today. Yet I have drunk coffee twice. First, when Nanay served me.
Second, when Mj did.
We are still
in war. I don't want either to raise white flag. I will let her learn from her
bad treatment over me.
Nine, Mich
with Tethel arrived. Hmp! I didn't want to comment again.
I have
heard them talking about me and Mj while I was emoting inside, in front of a
lone window and while Mj was taking a bath. They already know how mean Mj is. I
wished, then, that they give me money so I could go home.
All day long,
I consumed my time pretending. It was so hard to sit and look at the same point
while they were looking and wondering what I was doing or what was happening to
me. It turned out useless. I was still here. However, I would not give up, till
they realize I must be gone out here.
Every day I
was here, my life goes harder and harder. I was not even enjoying their
presences. I could not even feel my role as a father. I was self-pitying.
"Oh,
Jesus Christ, our God, please renew our lives. Amen!"
I've learned
from "Game KNB?" today---Tyrapanophobia (fear of injection).
March 9, 2006
I had a bad
night sleep. Last night was so hot---- terrible! Then, my scalp has been so
itchy. I scratched it for an hour. Yet, I didn't freak out. I attended Hanna
instead, before breakfast.
Today is a
red-letter day of Neiczel. Her parents went to market early. They would prepare
'ginataan'.
While we're
taking in our lunch, money from Nanay's sibling has arrived. Everybody was
happy. I, too, was glad. I hoped Nanay give me so that I could go home.
My mind is open-door
for knowledge. I unlimited myself in unlimited wisdom I could read and learn.
Today, I have learned new words from reading dictionary.
They
exchanged the foreign money at 4. I hoped they would give me money as fare.
However, they don't even ask me if I wanted to go home now.
I, then cried
and cried beneath the pillow. Why don’t they understand me? I just don't want
here to stay for long. Why they are unaware of my feelings? Now that they
already have money, they would shoo me away easily if they really wanted.
The tears I
cried were due to ennui--- a boredom to my life. I wanted life which is quite
dissimilar to my past life. I have asked it to the Lord. He showed me a sign.
Yet, I must do something to possess it.
Then, I
realized...Mama is the only mortal who can help me to go home. I was waiting
for no one or for nothing here. I know she is now worrying about me, to our
house as well, in Polot. She is the only one I could talk to whenever my heart
swells in burden and in pain.
This is the
third night Mj and I were on warfare. I decided not to talk to her even if I
have gone home.
Though,
I was mingling with them, I knew what was going on. I was bottlenecking.
Lola
called to claim the money sent by Tito Jay. It was truly for her not for Nanay.
It was a frustrating news, huh!
March 10, 2006
I had a bad
night last night. I could hardly sleep. I almost gone naked, and my back ached
tremendously. I thought that was my penalty of being sensitive.
Since, I was
not hoping that I would be given money for fare, I was shocked when they asked
me if I would like to go home. I nodded merely. And, before Nanay had Mich went
to market she gave me P50. I left at 11 AM. Tatay and Elek tried to stop me and
told to wait the uncooked rice, but I still left.
I kissed
Hanna lovingly. I felt her pain of losing me and my temporary presence. In
fact, she cried after I bade adieu. I almost shred to tears.
I then
neglected the presence of Mj. It was her fault!
It saddens me
but a side of me was glad...
I went to
lotto outlet to bet. I saw and noticed the queue of hopeful people like me. I
fell in line and stayed there, because the queue was so long, until past 12. I
could feel he hunger yet I was hoping that I will win it now.
It was past
one when I arrived here in Bautista. Mama was partly amazed of my unnoticed
arrival. She presto fried egg for me.
While eating,
I confided to her all---Mj's meanness, my plans, expectations, wishes and
disappointment and some anecdotes and especially Hanna's upcoming birthday
party.
In my
excitement, I made a written master plan of Marge's approaching birthday. I
will give it to Mj so that she will decide if it is desirable or not.
I told Mama
that I was afraid it could not be realized like what happened to Hanna's
christening last August 21, 2005. They were the ones who planned for it.
Although it was successful, I didn't like it.
If only my
plan would be followed, I reckon everyone would enjoy not only the food but he
entirety of the party. I wanted it to be unique and talk-of-the-town.
Then, I
elaborated it to Mama and Flory. I guess they have approved it 90%.
Mama and I
watched Lotto draw at 9. We both were hopeful to win. However, I only got one
digit. I didn't fret. It was God's will.
Jano didn't
arrive. I prayed that he was in good term...
I viewed the
launching show of "Gudtym''. I found it funny.
Then, I
talked to God upon turning off the TV. I asked Him apology to my sins and to
everyone's sins.
March 11, 2006
Seven, I got
up and took in tuna-in-can and rice breakfast.
I watched TV
at 9. I missed out 'Art Jam, yet I've fully viewed 'Mag-Agri Tayo' and 'Maunlad
na Agrikultura' in Channel 4. In the first show, I've learned about 'Itikery'.
Ducks are so weak in frequent temperature changes. And, what I enjoyed most was
the second show. I've learned 'Kulob System', which is used in hardwood
propagation like bamboo. I called Mama so she could view it too. It was all
about horticulture. Amazing! I think I wanted to try it...in Boso-Boso.
Our
lunch...boiled cassava! Thus, I watched cooking shows in TV like 'Ka-Toque' and
'Makuha ka sa Tikim'.
Then, I made
a curio from objet trovive of certain plant stalks. It was based by indigenous
bamboo. Mama liked it.
One-thirty,
I've made two artworks---- calligraphy and abstract, made from coffee. The
abstract one can be made into greeting card. It will be a business, huh!
At the end of
the day, I felt so much contentment and happiness in my life. I have done
whatever I wanted to do.
Six, while
Flory and company were doing Bible study outside, I read FHM. I've learned
three different types of caps--- trucker cap, baseball cap and racer cap. First
type is the one which has a net. Second type is a closed-type one. Third type
is like baseball cap which has a belt-like at the back. Now, I was enticed to
collect caps.
Our dinner
was egged noodles. It's so beefy-yummy! We couldn't wait Jano anymore. We know
he would bring, but we're so hungry due to lunch lessness.
Past nine
when they (Jano and Gie) arrived with bags of groceries and whole dressed
chicken. The last was stunned seeing me. She told me that her sister, who is to
be wed has already bought cactus. I wonder what it meant.
Jano asked me
about Taiwan. What? He has a mobile phone. He has opportunity to notify, to
know or to have a news about Taiwan's employment and Jenny's pregnancy but he
was the one who has no contact with him. How come? Is he so busy?
Then, he was
borrowing money from me. Is he insulting me? Or is he really on a crisis? I
know I was still liable to Gie of P1,000--- the balance, I have owed when Hanna
Margaret was born, but do he need to imply it? I will pay it...soon when the
time comes...
I thanked God
for everything. I didn't name them one by one because it's too many... instead,
I generalized my thanksgiving. Then, I asked good health, sound mind, healthy emotion,
and whatnot.
Eleven… it
was.
March 12, 2006
Seven, when
my eyes opened voluntarily. Then, I got up after 15 minutes to start a
wonderful Sunday.
While Jano
was doing carpentry outside, I turned off his sound and on the TV. I knew there
are so many shows I like every Sunday such as cooking, home make-over and
travel. So, I enjoyed viewing, while the remote control was complaining.
I've
learned from the chefs--- the use of banana leaf in embutido-processing.
Interesting!
I was so
excited to Hanna's upcoming birthday. I was looking for menus in magazines,
thinking party ideas and planning crazily. I just really like it grandeur and
unique.
Last night, I
started curing my carabao feet, too. I could see changes. It turned out smooth.
The nearly expired lotion, Mj gave me was effective, huh!
Mama has been
so supportive, excited as well, to Hanna Margaret first birthday planning
stage. She had a planned menu she would impart to me.
I have
written today an Article 2 of Marge's Law (Baby Marge Law, in my March 4, 2006
account). It goes like this:
Article 2: Using Poor Language to Children is
Illogical.
A child needs
to talk with; however, parents must be a good model. It means no baby talk,
speak clearly and articulately and label things correctly. Baby-talking is
talking like a child, who is just about to talk. Inarticulate use of words do
not boost the intelligent quotient of a child. And labelling things incorrectly
is not a sharpening process of child's development of the mind. Poor language,
on the other hand, affects the communication skill of a child.
After I have
viewed 'Sharon Tonight', that tackled a theme of ‘from rag to riches', my
business instinct insistently came out. It sounds ridiculous but I'm hoping
that someday, my planned business names would be registered to Security and
Exchange Commission. It sounds shameful, but I'm proud to plan and plan...
Here are my
business names:
.Curios-City
.Black and
White
.Itikery Farm
.El Saga
.Re-Encarnacion Garden
If it is
God's will. I would be (still) a faithful Christian, kind son, generous
brother, grateful relative, helpful in-law, loving husband, responsible father
and concerned citizen...and best, thoughtful friend!
I was so
strong through the wind blows because Jesus Christ, our God, told me so... I'm
willing to wait.
March 13, 2006
After a
semi-sumptuous breakfast, it was 8, I helped Mama in gardening. We made a
bamboo pole orchidarium. We then exchange gardening ideas. I told her I like
suiseki (collection of rocks).
I watched
'Homeboy' and I've learned cooking term. It was 'canapes', which is
lumpia-like. The only difference is that canapes ae not filled, they are rolled
and cut in bite sizes.
Mama was so
stunned to her violet orchids; however, I have discovered that they were eaten
by violet worms. She was so upset. The bloomed ones were eaten by pest worms so
as the bulb. Yet... I killed them all. Quits!
At seven PM,
I have written 'Billboard', a comedy skit.
I've learned
today--- malarkey. It is a noun which means nonsense, and insincere and foolish
talk.
Mama sauteed
green papaya and corned beef for our dinner. Although, I am not fond of eating
unripe papaya, I have eaten much of it...with rice.
In my prayer,
I included Ate Ningning, who is now working in Dubai, fighting for nostalgia
and pain of her separation to Eking. I wished for her endurance, hope and
strength. I also asked God for Hanna Margaret strong body to bear the bumps and
humiliation of Akisha. She was being hurt by her every time they're near.
March 14, 2006
The morning
was so cold. I couldn't help to rise. Yet, when Mama woke us up, I remember
that today is the day Ka Sonny is supposed to go to Boso-Boso and he is gonna
fetch me here. I rose up afterwards. I was so thankful that loving Mama had
already prepared sunny side-up for breakfast.
Mama called
me when she noticed that my anticipation would be useless. She directed me to
unscrew the 'lababo' doors. It gladdens me that the 3 doors would be useful for
an artist like me.
Then, I have
made two butterflies, made from stockings, by her request. It's a fulfilling
project.
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