MY JOURNAL (February 1-7, 2016)

February 1, 2006

 

          It's the first day of month--- month of hearts. I'm afraid to stay here until the last day.

 

          Nanay told me to stay here in Rancho for no one is capable of cooking rice. Nanay and Tatay would go to Boso-Boso today. Hanna's check-up was postponed for unknown reason.

 

          I wanted to go with them, and it disappointed me. But, being with Hanna, in her condition, is what I would prefer than going home in Bautista. Although, I could pray for her. Wherever, we're apart, my presences are needed too. I love her so much. I don't want something bad happen to her.

 

          Since, Michael, Mj, Akisha, Hanna and I are the only people left in this house today, I have had time to describe my in-laws:

 

          Tatay. He's kind. As an ex-abroad, he's responsible, although he has no source-of-income today. We don't talk personally, but through Mj and Nanay. And, since we have something in common, in wealth and in health, we understand each other.

 

          Nanay. Like, Tatay, she's also kind and understanding. She always wanted Mj, Hanna, and I to have a wonderful life in Bulan. She always on the go and never-been ashamed in seeking help to her Nanay, brothers and sisters just for her family's sake.

      

          Me-Ann. Though she's partly dependent to Nanay, she's open-handed. If she only stops lending money, she and her husband, Art will have a nice and abundant life. I could communicate with her. As an eldest child, she contributes on family problems, especially in money matter s. I could see her love towards Hanna.

 

          Michael. He's an easy-going type but dependable. He's a runner (e.g. lending money, buying milk). Though, we don't talk to each other, I know, he is kind, and he respects me for who I am.

 

          Elek, the second child, is soon to be home. She was sent money for fare. She will be added to Nanay and Tatay's dispositions. Though, we're close, I don't want her and her daughter, Nicole to stay here if I'm here because the house will be crowded and I'm having a hard time sleeping. It's so hot when the room is filled. Thanks Michelle lived away. She doesn't help in here. She has no household chores know-how.

 

          All in all, my in-laws are good to me. The only problem we have today is the hardship of earning money for our daily consumption. Everybody has been so supportive to each other.

 

          Past three, when they arrived. Lola called, after few minutes. I have heard that Tita Lo and Ka Sonny's comeback from USA was postponed. They would be here instead, by February 22. It disappoints me. Then, I realized...why I was anticipating them? For what? For chocolate!? Never mind... I told Mj that I wanted to go home in Bautista for I might have a fare there.

 

          I thought Hanna's anus was already fine, but when we're washing her, we found "nana" outside. The "lampin" used for wiping her reddened anus. We're alarmed by it. She really needs check-up. Immediately, Nanay contacted Tito Nick in USA. He said, he has no money, but he will call again. Nanay, then started to make possible cause of Hanna's anal infection, while I was so sad.

 

         "Oh, Lord Jesus, please provide our financial need. We need to bring her to a pedia. Please, don't make it hard for every one of us. Thank you, Lord!"

 

          Mj and I had a fight over a tissue paper. I wanted to save the diaper from Hanna's poo, so I put tissue paper on it. But she insisted that it is not good, especially when it's wet. I was so, overly, angry with her. Thus, we sleep with anger in our hearts. I know I'm right and she's wrong with her opinion. I just wanted to economize.

 

 

February 2, 2006

 

           I rose up with anger still lingering on my heart. Since I'm having the most "pride' in the world, I still don't talk to Mj even when we're taking our breakfast. And I would not ever talk to her again unless she changes her attitude. She's always on a high pitch and trying to henpeck me.

 

          As she promised, I asked her to give me the P20, she would give me for my fare to Bautista. She tried to decline but I insisted angrily. After few minutes, I got off. I kissed first, of course, Hanna lovingly. Nanay, startled of my leaving, was worried if my money would be short. Without further ado, I left their house. It made me sad. I wanted to cry. I really don't want to leave, especially if Hanna is sleeping.

 

          Mama was eating when I arrived. I confided everything happened to me and to my angel, Hanna. We talked also about everything-about-me. I have known that Taiwan has been here yesterday, and he's willing to give my P500 request.

 

          I read Geraldine's book ---"What the Stars Reveal About Men Your Life". I knew, at first, that it is a girl's stuff, but it interests me. I also partly believe in constellations, but I wanted to know if it is true or not. Thus, I found out the following:

          *Ability to Love a Woman

            ---Expects prospective wife to have a very high moral

            ---Considerate of every female

            ---Home and family mean more

            ---Very conservative man

            ---Loves art and music

            ---Very idealistic and tends to put woman on a pedestal

            ---Can't be criticized

            ---Tender

          *Relatives

           ---Admire relatives

           ---Love family gatherings

           ---Mother's opinion is of the utmost importance

           *Money and career

           ---Likes finer things of life but not too ambitious

           ---Likely to retreat in silence

           ---Does very well working with people on a one-to-one basis

           ---Like children

           ---Capable of great loyalty

           ---Careful about money

           ---Has a very analytical mind

           ---Thrifty with himself, but not with loved ones

          *Health and Diet

           ---May suffer indigestion if works too hard and becomes upset

           ---Liquor hates him or don't drink too much

           ---Illness made him more ill

           ---Chronically tense and nervous

           ---Stomach seems to be the spot where illness strikes him

          *Friends and social life

           ---His friends adore him

           ---Loyal, faithful, and true to all friends

           ---Remembers special events much to the delight of friends

           ---Deeply wounded if a friend has been disloyal, cruel, or unethical

           ---Likes to entertain at home

           ---Keeps friend/s for years, some for a lifetime

 

          I have also learned that once a crab marries, he has achieved his goals. I'm possessive, jealous and bit dictatorial. As a father, I'm warm and loving to my child/children.

          

 

February 3, 2006

 

          I rose up early to start blissful new day. Yet I felt something gloomy in my other side. I was searching something I really don't know what it was. It seems that there's lacking despite a beautiful morning. Though, I cleaned up displays, I read few pages from the "The Two" and I watched TV, still I am not happy. I tried to accept that I'm temporarily again to Hobee. She's not the cause of my sadness. Then, I looked around Mama's wonderful garden. It covers somehow my emotional scar. Then, I resorted in turning on the tv set, seeing apparently "This is Your Day" program, I usually watch. Finally, the joy and bliss I'm looking for were found. Sincerely, this program made me cry-in-joy always. God touches my heart and fills my soul with His words, whenever I watch Benny Hinn's program.

 

          While I and Mama were watching "Game KNB?", Tito Boy called out. I hid myself because Mama had told me so. He started to look for a male figure he had seen. I don't know if he suspected that I am here still. I must hide myself until I'm truly home to Polot just to keep Mama away from shame of telling a lie, she really doesn't mean.

 

          I have written two comedy skits today, entitled "Pakakasal na" and "A..E..".

 

 

February 4, 2006

 

          Morning breeze is so cold. I couldn't help to rise and throw he blanket out of my body. Though, I wanted to sleep again due to hardship of last night sleeping, I get up and started to prepare my breakfast.

 

          I have eaten bun-hotdog with mayo and catsup, and I was watching TV, when a tragedy at Ultra broke out.

 

          I was saddened and shocked of the stampede of audiences, who wanted to watch live "Anniversary of Wowowee". Mama was shocked too. She commented that it would not have happened if only they preferred to join Franklin Graham Festival at Luneta. That's true. People are really materialistic that they don't want to, or they neglect spiritual life. Thus, 60+ died and some were wounded.

 

          All day long, I was just watching TV while the blanket was wrapped around me. The wind was so strong. And, it's so cold and dusty outside. Besides, I can't go out. I'm a prisoner here.

 

 

February 5, 2006

 

          The morning breeze is so cold yet I rose up and fried eggs for Jano's breakfast. Then I started to hide myself because Rodea, my chatterbox cousin is here. I wrapped myself with blanket in the room. When I almost fell asleep, someone tapped my shoulder. She is Mj. Hanna's here.

 

          I was so happy seeing my daughter yet sad due to the findings from the check-up last Friday. She has amoebiasis.

 

          Baby Marge could now sit alone, though for the short time only. I also noticed her dry skin due to dehydration. Then, she lost weight. What a pitiful condition?!

        

          I gave an unpaired golden earring to Mj. She could sell it for Hanna's milk. Thanks God, I have given it before they were fetched at 2:30.

 

          Nine when "Rated K" ended. It was a nice episode. They or Korina Sanchez tackled all about "Hanep". But the most 'hanep' for me among her features was the house of empty gas tanks. The owner artistically used LPG tanks in gate, living room, garden or all-over the house. Thus, I was induced to create something new using common thing.

 

          I slept after watching Pinoy Big Brother Launching.

 

 

February 6, 2006

 

          I was awakened by spermatorrhea, involuntary discharge of semen. That was not unusual to me. It happens frequently. My undie was so wet, yet I didn't rise.

 

          As usual, I read something. Then, watched TV all day long. I have nothing to do. That's why, I drew on a one-fourth piece of bond paper. It reflects me and how I felt.

 

          Since I gave Mj a single piece of golden earrings, I wished she had sold it already. It would be helpful to Hanna Margaret. She needs medicine for amoebiasis, not to mention Alactamil, diaper or Cerelac. Haay! If only I'm a rich man.

 

          Eleven, when I turned off the TV set. I prayed, then. I asked God to heal Hanna's disease, to give us good health especially Mama, to give Jano understanding, and to bless us financially. I also asked forgiveness for our sins.

 

      

February 7, 2006

 

          Seven, when my eyes involuntarily opened. As usual I felt the cold of a morning beneath my blanket, thinking of my house in Polot, of Hanna's amoebiasis, of winning in lotto and of other things.

 

           I could feel emptiness. I was always preoccupied, and I don't want like this. It made me weak.

 

           I hope Taiwan arrive tonight...

 

           Watching television all day long is all I can do. I wanted to do artworks, but material is insufficient. Then, "Game KNB?" used the question about the name of art that uses egg yolk (If I'm not mistaken). It is tempera.

 

           I turned the TV off at 10:30. Then, I started to communicate with God. I included Mama, Jano, Taiwan. Flor Rhina, Hanna, myself and Efear to my prayer. I asked individual blessings for each one.