MY JOURNAL (February 22-28, 2006)

February 22,2006

         Seven, I woke up to start waiting junk buyer. Few minutes later, Baby Marge has risen too. We all greeted her Good Morning.

          While waiting, I was thinking if I would go with Mj in going home. Then, she was amazed when I told her to pack Hanna's stuff. I noticed that she was not supposed to go home today. I merely was angry waiting for water supply truck and junk cart. I pity Mama thinking how she could provide our meal and water.

          Past nine, we're ready. Mama was sad that she was unable to give Hanna a bettr life. Me, too... was sad leaving them.

          In Rancho, nothing has changed... Crises. Over-crowd. Haay!

          I couldn't explain our sleeping positions and condition. It was so hot and discomfortable. But because I was so sleepy I did not mind it.

          I missed primetime shows--- Princess Lulu and PBB Celebrity Edition. Yet, I did not fail to pray for Jentai's pregnancy and job.


February 23, 2006

          Six, Hanna cried for milk. Mj and I were still sleepy. I didn't get up till Mj did then we had a misunderstanding when she told me that Michael would sleep again where I was laying down. It irate me. Thus, I didn't talk to her till ten.

          I could feel Espinosa's crisis. It saddens me.

          Hanna has been so cryingly today. I think she is not comfortable living in a crowded house and in a noisy ambiance.

          After lunch, Elek and Michelle went to 'bayan' to pawn jewelries. I didn't know if they pawned Mj gold earrings or not. However, I was sure they have pawned a jewelry for they have bought Alactamil for Baby Marge.

          Afternoon, Mj was scratching her palm and said, "Magkakapera siguro ako." And this 6:00, she directed me to buy diapers handing out a P20 bill from the couples of them on her pocket. I guess Meann gave her money. "Thanks, God!"

          Tonight, before I close my eyes to sleep, I'll pray to Lord God Jesus Christ to give us hope or sign of good life.


February 24, 2006

          Though, we're like sardines in a double-deck bed, I have been comfortable enough last night. I have slept well.

          Mj has been so careful in waking me up. Thus, I voluntarily rose up to take care of Hanna, who has been awake so early.

          Our breakfast was 'ibus', brought by Immaculata couple. It was inadequate yet I've been so thankful to God.

          Our lunch was sauteed 'mongo' with 'chicharong baboy'. It was yummy.

          Today is 'bispera' of EDSA People Power 1. That was why Edsa-Makati has been so noisy and disordered. GMA declared state of emergency and stopped all kinds of rallyists. TV stations, as a result, pend their regular shows to air live the condition of this commemoration.

          I didn't care about it. I was angry that I couldn't view rather than these hodgepodges. Good thing, they resume it at 5.

          Our dinner was fried 'tuyo' and noodles. We were so lucky, though these were inappropriate supper.

          This day was the most nostalgic day of my stay here in Antipolo City. I couldn't resist myself in worrying about my unconcreted house in Polot and my bonsais there. I really wanted to go back home.

          Prayer concern tonight: Financial blessings so I and Hanna and Mj could go home in Bulan.


February 25, 2006

          Hanna woke me up very early at 7:00. We played together for a few minutes in a foam where we slept. Then, we rose. Mj put her to direct sunshine.

          I could foresee crisis when there was no fried rice cooked in the kitchen. Our breakfast was merely Spanish bread. I knew Hanna's milk container was almost empty. Nevertheless, they resorted in pawning jewelries. Although, in their first attempt, they rather asked Lola to pay for the jewelry than to accept low appraisal of the pawnshops, where Elek canvassed. Lola, then, gave Elek rice and money. And they finally pawned the jewelry at the low price just to survive in a couple or three times of meals. Haay! That's life!

         At least, I have tried Michael's laptop. I encoded my resume for future use. My eyes ached yet I was hoping to use it again some other time.

         Hanna has a carton of Alactamil now. Thanks, God, for they did not let Hanna starve for milk, although she was now eating and has an appetite for every food. Somehow, they cared for Baby Marge like how they cared for Nicole, Akisha and Neiczel. I just want to apologize to them that sometimes I thought they don't love much my angel. I was just being jealous of Margaret's cousins. "I'm sorry, Lord." I know they love Hanna Margaret. One proof is my being jobless in this moment. I never heard any complaint from them. "That's why, Lord, I'm asking you to bless them. Please don't give them any problem like misunderstanding among family members, sicknesses or great financial crisis. Please give them what they need. I wanted them to go, I mean, to restart their lives in Bulan. Here, they have no property of their own and the bliss jeopardize their living. Thank you, Lord! Amen."

          Mj has been so mean to me especially during the time I was helping her in doing a thing like changing Hanna's diaper. She was always angry over me. Sometimes, she shouted at me. Everything I do seems to be a mistake. I have nothing done best for her. Thus, today (6:00 PM), I complained and showed her I was irate on the way she's treating me. All I wanted her to do when doing a thing for Hanna with me is to be calm, lower her voice. I'm so sensitive and she must know that. As the result, we didn't talk to each other. And I will never ever do till she apologizes and vow to me not to treat me again like a fool dog.

           Eight, I started writing the script of "Kaming Mga Sawi/Tinta at Tisa." I have finished seven sequences plus credit sequence. I enjoyed writing it. Ideas flowed through my mind. I hoped it will turn out good.


February 26, 2006

           Six, Hannna drunk her milk. Eight, she woke up and played tumbling. I was forced to open my eyes. Then, I noticed that she was wet. Her diaper leaked. I changed her shirt. Mj washed her.

           I saw that Tatay was not present. He had to do a mechanical service in a regular client. It was an answered prayer. We would have a healthy meal today.

           Nicole maddened me. She bullied my Baby Marge. Everything touched by Hanna, she would let her to go away with it. I will tell Mj to take care Hanna and protect her from Nicole's meanness.

           Then, I started again writing the script. Finally at eleven, I decided to give his script a title of "Tinta."

          Tatay and Nanay were fetched by Ka Sonny. They would go to Brgy. San Josef. When they came back, Nanay told me that they dropped by our house. According to her, Mama was all alone there, and she wanted me to come home. Then I've heard that Ka Sonny planned to go to Batangas, where Ate Jenny was born. But the most interesting news was that Calove wanted me and Mj to be a tenant of his property in Boso-Boso. I said why not. But I will wait for his confirmation.

          It made me insomniac. I couldn't sleep thinking about it and the possible and related consequences. I think, I was mere excited of living in a separate home. I just wish he will give agreeable benefits in return of our tenancy.


February 27, 2006

          It's Nanay's birthday today, so as Tito Jun! I know there would be a party in Monte Rosas. I've confirmed it when Tita Lo called and commanded Nanay to go in the market.

          Hanna's milk container was almost empty. Yet it was filled again when Nanay bought a small carton from a kickback in marketing. Thanks, God for He is the great provider.

          Three, we all went to Monte Rosas specifically to Tito Jun's residence. We just walk along. There, Tito Sonny cuddled up Hanna Margaret and fed her of cake. My baby showed "katakawan". Thus, they liked her all. They also made comparisons between Hanna and Neiczel and Hanna and Akisha. They also or always proclaimed Hanna's resemblance to me.

          Then, we ate-- the most anticipating moment. There were so many sorts of food in the buffet table, And, as always, I didn't eat the way I supposed to be. So, when we're walking home, I felt hunger. I wanted to come back and eat again.

           Hanna didn't sleep early. She was the last among her cousins to sleep. I think it was the effect of "yum-yum" cake she eaten... first time, huh!


February 28, 2006

           It was the last day of the month. I was afraid, I couldn't go back to Bulan s early as possible this March. Whatever I do, I could not oppose the intruding thought of our house and stuffs there.

          From the time Baby Marge was awaken, she has been so cryingly, restless and hungry, till she fell asleep at 7. I have hit her at her "talampakan", twice or thrice and once at her lower extremity. I was sorry for her. I just could not understand her. She didn't want to stay long in a position (sitting, standing) or activity. Yet, she has been happy sometimes. I reckon she just has a tantrum today.

          My hope of going home in Bautista was lost when I have heard to Nanay's mouth that Calove was gone home in Apalit, Pampanga. Then, I realized that I should not rely on someone here that I might be given money for fare to either Bautista or Bulan. I wanted to tell it to Mama.

           Tomorrow is Taiwan's day-off and today is supposed to be his payday. I wanted to talk to him, but I know it is impossible. I will just wait till he realizes I must go home soon.

            "God, I know you knew already what we need. Please, God, I want to restart our life."