My Journal --- August, 2007

 August 1, 2007

Four AM, I rose up and prepared to leave. After 30 minutes, I left Bodino, but I first told Tito Zaldo that I am leaving to Pasig.

I was uttering a prayer while walking. I asked God to help me get into that place and most of all, win the job.

It was very early, when I got at my destination. I was so excited to enter. Thus, I was mistaken. The boastful security guard says, "Bagsak ka na agad!", when I went astray. I got irritated to his big face. He's not in the right position to say that to me.

I waited for Bilog and Ate Gina while I was feeling at ease to the company. I have then learned that I was in Eastland Manufacturing Company, Incorporated. It's a big garment factory, which has hundreds of employees. Infinites Enterprises is underdog compared to it. I would be happy, if I would be hired.

Eight-thirty, I went immediately to Marcos Highway. It was after HR Department looked for my SSS number. I was determined to win the job, so I have to get a number. Unfortunately, SSS-Marcos Highway Branch has moved to Marikina. Yet, I went on. I never give up, despite of hunger, heat, and feeling of 'wee-ness'.

I have easily found the Marikina Branch. Bad thing is the queue was so long. I have to be patient. Good thing is my patience paid off. I have got an SSS number at 11 AM. My possession of NBI clearance and my children's birth certificate, that time, helped me a lot.

I went back at Eastland. There, I have learned that Bilog has started working already. No wonder, he was 'backed' by his big sister, who has a high position there. If only I have got an SSS number, before 8 AM.

I didn't envy him. I knew I could make it, too.

Ate Genalyn treated me and Bilog for a lunch. While eating, she briefed us.

One PM, I took an abstract examination. It was so confusing. I'd rather take a Math exam that to take that. I found it mind-blowing.

I was then told to fill out applicant's information sheet. Later, I waited for the exam result. However, I was told to go home. They never tell me, if I fail or not. They just told me to wait for their call. It partly disappointed me. I know what it means.

I went home to Bautista, exhausted and sad. I tried to fall asleep, but I was frustrated. I instead texted Mj. Although, she did not reply, I sent more than two messages without anticipating for answer. I related to her the experience I have got a while ago.

She replied at 7 PM. She was worried. She was asking for their fare on Saturday, for our children's milks and for Zj's clothes. My reply was "Bahala na." I was worrying, too, as a matter of fact.

When Jano, Gie and Kalbo arrived, our sleeps were disturbed. They have got stuffs for the nuptial--- refrigerator, groceries, cooler, plates, cook wares, etc...

August 2, 2007

Early at 5:30 AM, I was already wide-awake. I could hear Mama working for something. I have cleansed the concrete tank. Then, at eleven, I helped Gie in her stuff. I also have had time to reply to the test messages from Jay-R, Bigit, and many more.

Past 1:30 PM, Mama left Bautista. Quarter to 2, I left, too. Mama was going directly to Sauyo. I went first to a flower shop for a reservation purposes. Next stop is at my in-laws' house. I talked to Mj about few things. She kept on reminding me about our children's milk.

Four, when I left to Sauyo. I couldn't afford to wait for Mama's call any more. Six, when I got there. Mama was sleeping. Waiting came next, before she prepared the vegetables.

Eleven, I started to take a rest.

August 3, 2007

Past three, when we're awakened. We were going home. After breakfast, we left Sauyo. We rode on Lolo Angel's jeep. Five, when we arrived in Bautista. I tried to sleep, yet I was frustrated, thus I worked instead. I swept the clutters around the venue. Kalbo and I also went downhill for ark's materials.

Ten-thirty, I refreshed myself. I then took a nap after I took in my Vitamin C.

Jano was very busy that time, so I helped him. The slaughtering of pig has started. I was occupied by it, too. I also bore the dining table of Auntie Helen. It was too heavy.

It rained--- a heavy rain. I hoped it would not rain tomorrow.

I went to 'bayan' to claim the bouquets. I dropped by first at my in-laws' house. I stayed till 6:30 PM. In 'bayan', I waited too long for the bouquets. I got home at past 9:30.

The wedding reception was filled with so much people. Some of them were just like a display. But most of them were helpers.

After dinner, I started to work. Auntie Helen and I rolled the embutidos. Then, I faced decorating task. I used my artistic side to bring colors and arts on the buffet area.

Next thing happened... "walang tulugan!"

August 4, 2007

It was one or two when I sleep under the presidential table. It was so cold and mosquito-filled filled there. Yet, because of tiredness, I have fallen asleep. I got up at 5. Then, I worked again. I washed the dishes, ran errands, followed commands, etc...

Nine-thirty, Taiwan, Popoy and I rode on Jano's motorcycle to St. Anthony de Padua Parish. When we got there, Ilek and my 'mag-in' were there. I then rehearsed Hanna n her walking in the aisle.

Past 10:45 when the wedding started. Hanna declined to walk alone, such like Denize, Lorenz and Sandara, so I had to walk with her.

Mam Reposar is one of Jano-and-Gie's 'ninang'. I introduced Mj and her with each other.

Romeo was there, too. He joined the group of our few high school classmates, such as Carina, Mary Jo, Winston, and Roderick. I wanted to join them, but I was occupied by cleaning and dishwashing.

The reception was not organized, yet everybody was satisfied and has taken out some food. I was like a crazy dog--- run there, run yonder! It exhausted me too much.

Six when I stopped. Auntie Vangie approached us. She handed me P200. It was my salary. My 'utang' to joy was deducted, I guessed. She looked for my kids. If Hanna and Zj were there, surely they would have P100 each from her, too, like Yoshimi.

Seven, I was texting Maila. She is Sharon's sister-in-law, who has been my textmate, when she texted me once, saying "Elow".

Later, Mama got hurt by Jano's words. I then remember Taijen Nuptial last January 16, 2006. The history repeats itself, indeed. She cried and wanted to leave immediately. She pushed me and Taiwan to leave, as well. Taiwan and Jenny left quickly. Eight, when I decided to leave, too. Mama secretly gave me a 'pata'. I would give it to my in-laws.

When I arrived at my in-laws' house, I sleep immediately. 

August 5, 2007

Eight, Hanna and I left Rancho. I decided to bring her because Mj is going to wash my clothes today. Nine, we were in Bautista. I immediately started cleaning and organizing the reception area. I took away the clutters, too.

Mama's there still. She's talking to Jano. Bilog was there still, too. He's helping Jano and Gie.

I have cleansed the cook wares. It was the hardest job I have ever done. I could say that I have paid my P2000 debt from them. But, I will pay it. My help is free. It is paramount to 'ambag' for the couple.

After lunch, I joined the karaoke-ing. Renoir and Yoyi were there still. I only sang when she left. Diyang and Bilog were singing, too. She asked me why I didn't join my classmates, as if she was implying that I am not belong to the group of successful classmates. She revoked it by saying "Kung ikaw ay magkakaroon ng trabaho...", something like that, with 'pambobola'. If she only knew…

It is true that I am ashamed to join them, but it's not because of my poor career. It's because I have an 'anab' on my lower lip. 'Anab' is my childhood sickness that comes out every time I have eaten something that irritates my lips. Like 'tuyo'. It is a disease which starts from itchiness and ends up to 'pagkasugat'.

I sang along with them till quarter to five. Five when we left Bautista. I bought milk, vitamins, and diapers in Gate 2. 

August 6, 2007

Past six when I left my in-laws' house. My children were still sleeping. I forgot to kiss them goodbye. I arrived early in Bodino, thus I have had enough time for bathing and talking with my friends. They regarded the wedding. I told them that it was successful, but it was not as elegant and formal, as I wanted to see.

Today, I could feel the hardship of having no mobile phone. It's so hard to own that gizmo. It seems that my life is incomplete without it. I was afraid I would lose my contacts and friends.

Five, my body feels like giving up. I experienced body ache. Sleepiness strikes, too. I guess it's the effect of three or four days of efforts. Thus, I took a nap. Good thing is sleepiness visited me. The result? I have got energy to lift weight.

Today is Mj-and-I mensisary. I could still remember last month. We're about to break up, due to my letter.

August 7, 2007

Before 8 AM, I phoned on at Lola Alice' landline. It was Lola Salud who entertained my call. According to her, Mama has left at 7:30 AM to Tandang Sora. Alas! I have not greeted her a 'Happy birthday' Yet, I'm glad to know that she was going there. I knew the reason.

Twelve, Auntie Vangie told me about Mama. She said that Mama was going to celebrate her birthday in there house. She requested me to come there. Thus, at 5 PM, we altogether rode on their car, going home. Auntie Vangie bought pizza, raw chicken, and pancit for Mama, as her gift to my mother.

I sleep early, without seeing VonVon, who has just arrived from China last August 3. 

August 8, 2007

After breakfast I left Auntie Vangie's house. It was raining and only Mama and Arlyn were left. Though, it's raining, I still went on. I hailed a jeep to ride on endlessly, but all of them were full-packed. The rain made me wet. It was so hard to wait for a ride during rainy day, I realized.

I arrived in garments at 8:35. I immediately started to work.

Auntie Vangie told me that Mama was already In Sauyo. Later, she asked me why I was asking for vale. I replied that I wanted to buy cellphone, because my old one was defective. She wondered if I could buy one for P500. It was five o'clock when my vale was given. 

August 9, 2007

It's been six days when my cellphone gave up. It's killing me. I'd rather lost my ring than to lose my mobile phone. I was afraid too, that my friends would be gone. Hence, all day long, I was thinking of ways of how to have cellphone. And, at 12 noon, I phoned on Mj. I asked Jenny's number and asked her if Michael knew a person who's selling a Cp for P500 or P1000. She talked immediately to her brother, but, according to the latter, he knew one, but it's for P3000. I want to have a phone with camera, hence I couldn't afford it, yet.

Later, I texted Jen asking her a favour to tell my problem or intention of buying a cellphone, worth P500 or P1000. Taiwan might know someone. Bad thing she doesn't reply. I was almost in chaos. I then tried to approach Ate Juliet, who is lending money. Unfortunately, she could not lend me tomorrow. Then, I thought of Mj's needs of working abroad. It increases my burden. I did not know what to prioritize. Mj must work abroad whatever happens. I will finance it. I can give up my wants. This is the only way we could have a financial freedom. Sacrifice must be done, if I want high-tech gizmos.

I missed texting. I missed my textmates, but I have to accept the fact that God plans for it. He's punishing me. He doesn't want me to be unfaithful to Mj.

Due to a drinking session of Renoir, Lito and Junior, not to mention Renoir's girl, my sleep was delayed. I thought it was 10:30 PM when I fell to sleep.

August 10, 2007

Today, I partially have accepted the fact that I could not have a cellphone in a jiffy. I must be patient, if I want to. I have to spend wisely, too. Good thing, there is possibility that we might have overtime work this week. We would have lots of work to be done, thus I could ask again Ate Juliet if she could lend me P2000. If that will so, I'm sure I could pay her on time without compromising the needs of my beloved children.

After I received my salary of P900+, I went to Frisco and bought milks and diapers. I will leave Bodino tomorrow after work. That was why I did this.

While dining at 7:30 PM, Auntie Helen and I talked about many things. One of them was the fact that Auntie Vangie expected for me to accompany Mama in going to Bulan. It hurts me when I have learned that Auntie Vangie said that I'm not supposed to work in their company because of my bachelor's degree. I explained to Auntie Helen that I don't intend to stay there for long. I only planned to support Mj on her 'paglalakad ng papaeles'. December is my estimated month to leave. I guess, Mj would have flown abroad already at that time.

I told her that I was planning to talk to Auntie Vangie about it. I will ask for her consideration. I hope she will give me an extension. I would be glad if she will permit me. If that will so, I would be very patient. 

August 11, 2007

From the time of waking-up till the time of going home, I was so excited to see my 'mag-iina'. I left Bodino immediately after work. It was past five. I think, it was seven when I got home in my in-laws' house. It saddened me, instead. Zildjian has fever and colds. He's phlegmatic. He almost lost his voice. Another disappointment I received was when Mj revealed the expenses she owed from Nanay for Zj's check-up and prescription. It was P400 in all. Thus, I was forced to take my P200 from my wallet. I still have P200 debt to Nanay.

Eight, I read my text messages in my inbox, using Ilek's cellphone. I've got a lot of messages. One is from Manay Aday. Another was coming from Maila. I replied at Maila's text, regarding her condition. I have learned that her grandmother passed away. And, she asked for favour. She wanted me to make a speech. She's a candidate in a speech contest. It was in connection to 'Linggo ng Wika'. I then made sure that I could finish it that night.

Without further ado, I started writing. It has a theme of ''Maraming Wika sa Matatag na Bansa."

Later that time, I have come up to this:

Maraming Wika sa Matatag na Bansa

Kayrami nating diyalekto. Kayrami na ring naging pinuno. Ngunit, matatag nga ba ang ating bansa?

Masakit sabihing hindi, pero hindi ako papayag na talagang hindi. Kaya, ipagsisigawan ko... matatag ang ating bansa! Ipinagmamalaki kong bigkasin... ang Republika ng Pilipinas ay isa nang matibay at matatag na bansa!

Pilipino ka. Dapat naniniwala kang sa pagkakaroon ng maraming wika at may kaunlaran. Hindi ka na magtatanong kung bakit?

Una. Nagsulputan ang mga call center sa Pilipinas. May kaunlaran...

Pangalawa. Nakakapagtrabaho tayo sa iba't bang bansa--- sa Hapon, halimbawa. May kaunlaran.

Pangatlo. Nawiwili sa ating bansa ang mga turista. May kaunlaran.

Pang-apat. Ikaw na ang magbigay-katuturan sa mga punto ko.

Kayrami nga nating diyalekto at wika. Kayrami nga nating naging pinuno. Lahat ng mga iyan ay balewala, kung iisa lang ang ginagamit nating wika. Titibay ang bansa, kung may iba't ibang wikang sinasalita. Ingat ka lang, ha? Baka Wikang Filipino ay makalimutan mo na. Masama na iyon at hindi nararapat. Ang ibig ko lang naman ay matatag na bansa, may pagkakaisa, at may pagkakaunawaan, kahit marami ang wika.

Hindi naman masama ang gumamit ng ibang wika. Hindi naman kita pupulaan, kung ang pagsasalita mo ay banyaga. Hindi naman ako luluha, kung marami kang winiwika. Basta ba, isipin mo rin, kung paano magiging mas matatag ang ating bansa, dahil sa iyong gamit na wika.

Ngayon, puwede mo ba akong suportahan sa aking adhika? Pumalakpak ka nga, kung sumusuporta o sumang-ayon ka sa akin...

Salamat! Salamat sa mga tunay na Pilipino!

I sent this speech immediately to Maila, through text. She thanked me. I just replied "Welcome!" to her, then, I slept.

August 12, 2007

I was awakened by my wee habit at 6 AM. It made sleepless, thus I waited for my children to wake up. When they do, I took care of Zj.

Eight, Maila texted me. I replied. I then gave her some speech delivery pointers. I was an expert in oration or oral communication. The truth is I have just won first place and second place in impromptu speech contests during 'Linggo ng Wika' celebration. She then told me that she won a grand prize in speech contest and she wanted to win again this time, so that she could compete in intercollegiate competition. I continued giving her some points to be done. She couldn't help but to tell me this "Pinapahanga mo ako."

Good thing about her, though we're both strangers to each other, is she's researching for my profile. She sent me some. She says " Sabi sa The Rover mo, silent water runs deep ka raw. Soft-spoken. A person of gentle spirit, loner and weird. Totoo ba 'yon? He he" I answered, "Yes!" I added as-a-matter-of-factly that I was called as bookworm, too.

Her question, "Who's my wife?" is what was not able to answer because I run out of load.

After lunch and while we're taking a siesta, Mj and I talk. We talked about going abroad. I proposed the revelation of our plan to her family. She declined. She wanted it to keep it secret till we can. We also came up to an idea of buying a house in Laguna area. She wanted me to take care of our kids, so that I could not have a chance to womanize. It gladdened me. I'm now rest-assured that she's decided to work overseas, thus I was also determined to work hard.

Mj was pushing me to buy second-hand cellphone. Michaels' friends were selling their mobile phones for P4000, P3000 and P2300. I am interested to buy the Sony Ericsson worth P2300, but the owner did not agree to my last bargain of P2000.

Before we sleep, Maila texted me. She was asking why I was not replying. It was read by Mj. She can smell something fishy...

August 13, 2007

Five:thirty-five, Mj woke me up. Though I wanted to sleep again, I pushed myself to start preparing to leave. Six when I left. Hanna was still sleeping. Yet, I have played with Zildjian. I kissed them many times. I'm gonna miss them.

I arrived in Bodino at 7:20. I have had time to take a bath and do whatever to do.

While working, my friends/co-workers advised me to talk to Auntie Vangie about my extension. I told them that I would do it this noon.

While dining, Helena or Mamita, as we called her, announced that April is going back to work here, too, as a sewer. According to her, her daughter was permitted already by Auntie Vangie. It partly gladdened me, for she would not be assigned in finishing department. My friends dislike her. That's why she's not needed there. She would be out-of-place.

Then, Auntie Helen started to boast. She said that April would not have a future in the finishing department. She'd rather be a sewer than a trimmer, for sewer has a chance to work abroad. Her statements hurt me. She was generalizing that sewers have better lives that finishers.

I related it to my friends. They just laughed.

I called on Mj. I have also talked to Hanna. She's in the mood of talking. She says. "Papa", more than twice, so as "Mama'' and "Jobee" (shortened form of Jollibee). She has her own vocabulary.

We have had one hour overtime, today.

Eight, Auntie Helen and I took our dinner. She began a topic with the question, "Bakit umuwi si Rachie kanina?". After answering the query, she exclaimed that Rachie is just an extra employee here. She has something to convey. She's implying that me too is an extra. She wanted me to leave and she wanted her daughter, April, to take over my position. Haay! Envious, Helena..

Next issue was about Flor Rhina. According to Auntie Helen, my sister declined to go to Bulan with Mama because she has nothing to do there. What hurts me is the fact that she exemplified me. It hurts me so much. But I knew she did not mean that or she never said that. It was Mamita, who said that, just to vex me. In my anger, I condemned Flor, so that Helene must know that their conclusion is a mere fallacy.

Later, I have made a letter for Flor. It was a two-purpose letter. I wanted it to be perused by Auntie Helen, because I suspect she's the one, who said those bad words about and against me. I don't care if it would not be read by my sister, who the only mistake is saying 'No', in going to Bulan and being close to them--- traitors.

I tried to sleep, despite of my ill-feeling and terrible toothache. 

August 14, 2007

When I got up, my toothache was still there. I have had a less-than-eight-hour-of-sleep.

Ate April arrived at 7. She was going to undergo training in sewing operation. I greeted her plastically. I did not know if I would be glad for her presence or not. Mamita would be stronger now. She would have more power to put me down. Thus, at eight, when Ate Nelie, Ate Juliet and Abeng were already there, I related to them the conversation happened last night. They condemned Mamita. I also showed them the epistle I wrote, so that they could understand what happened and what's in my heart.

I told them that I wanted to give up and leave my work, but they advised me not to, According to them, I better continue and show them that I wasn't affected to their downgrading. They also pushed me to talk to Auntie Vangie about extension. I really found a solace and 'kakampi' on them.

Eleven, I approached Auntie Vangie. I asked her if I could work here till December. I reasoned out that I have to finance Mj's documents for working abroad. After a short while, she says, "O, sige!" I almost cried for joy. My friends were so happy, too.

While having an overtime work, we're talking about sex issues. I have related to them about Mj-and-I's past. They have learned that she's not a virgin when we mate. They questioned me too about Rachie-and-I's past. They have known that I almost have gotten Rachie.

We have had one hour overtime. 

August 15, 2007

After I took a bath, I phoned on Mama. She was in Sauyo. I asked when she will leave to Bulan. She explicated that she was waiting for the money, promised to her by Taiwan and Auntie Vangie and for the right time. In addition, the weather condition was not that fine. There might be a storm in Bulan.

Before eight, Ate Juliet arrived. She brought noodles for me. It touched me. She indeed wanted me to gain weight. Then, I relate to them what I have heard last night on Helen and April's conversation. The 'mag-ina' was putting down the finishing department, as if sewing department or sewers are all successful in lives.

Before one, I asked Auntie Vangie, if she could deduct me for my SSS premium on Saturday. At first, she declined. She thought I wanted to stay here for a long time or I wanted to be a regular worker, but when I said 'till December only', she permitted me. However, she made a condition—I would pay my SSS premium on whole or without their 50% share. I agreed upon her. I told her that I only want my SSS number to be activated and besides, I'm not getting any younger.

Six, after working overtime, I went outside. I have seen yonder a bird’s house. It was s Christmas decoration. I picked it up. It's a dream come true. It's been a long time since I craved for a bird's house.

Then, I went to the store, I would buy bath soap. My co-workers, such as Kuya Junior, Leo, Edward and Dok were drinking. I tried to decline from their invitation, but when I came back, I decided to join them. I bought a light bottle of beer. I told them I would not take another one, hence they give me another one. For that, I have found myself enjoying. It's my first time with them except for Kuya Junior.

Eight when we stopped. I have drank four bottles of beer—3 light and 1 pale pilsen. Wew! It made me drunk.

Though, I'm drunk, I still managed to wash dishes, after dinner. Then, I phoned on Mj. I also talked to Hanna. Mj had guessed that I was drunk. Yet, I denied it.

Though my vision was rotating, I still managed to lift weight. While doing it, I have heard Mamita talking to Joy. The former was talking ill bout someone. She stated Abeng and Mila's names, so as April.

I slept early. Good thing is I have fallen asleep easily, though I haven't had a vitamin anymore. 

August 16, 2007

I felt nausea when I woke at wee time, thus I rushed back to my 'higaan', after I wee. However, I could still feel it. Good thing is I caught sleep. And, a nightmare woke me up. It was about Flor Rhina. In my dream, a woman told me that she has passed away. It saddened me. When I opened my eyes to know if it's true, I have found out that it was just a nightmare. I then uttered a prayer. I asked for her safety. Today is her 16th birthday.

Before 8, I phoned on Mj. Hanna talked to me also, she says, "Ayo!" (I love you)

Twelve, I texted Maila. I told her 'Gudluck'. Today is a "Linggo ng Wika' Literary Contest in my Alma Mater, RGCC. She's going to give speech, using my masterpiece, I wrote last Saturday. I hoped for her luck. I also advised her to calm herself and think that she's the best contender.

My gal friends were inviting me to come with them at Isetann in Quiapo on Saturday. They were going to canvass for cellphone. They want me to buy, too, since I will have my P1000 on Saturday from Ate Juliet's Five-Six lending service. However, this evening I came to an idea of saving the money for Mj's passport and birth certificate. I would rather give up my cellphone-buying pan than to give up 'good future ahead of us'.

My sleep was disturbed due to Tito Rey's brothers. They arrived at midnight.

August 17, 2007

My waking-up was affected due to the arrival of the guests last night. Yet, I managed to get up.

Past 8:30, Jano texted on Abeng's mobile phone, He wanted me to call on Gie immediately. Since, I was then working I did not call on her. Besides, I guessed it was a bad news for me. I started to feel nervous that then. Until 9, Gie phoned on me. She announced that I have to report at Eastland Manufacturing Company, Inc. before 11 AM that day.

I didn't know if it's bad or good news. I have asked Auntie Vangie for my extension and she permitted me already. Thus, I asked my girlfriends' suggestions. They, except for Rachie, who was quiet, said that I must try it. For it was my chance to have a higher wage and good opportunity.

Past nine, I left Bodino. Eleven it was when I arrived at Eastland. There, Ate Genalyn talked and directed me over the phone.

Twelve, Bilog and I met there. He brought me to his 'ate'. The latter told me to wait at the employees' shed. Past one when I was called for an interview. Then, I was brought to my supposed working area. There, I met Joel, Weng, and Ate Agnes. Joel is designated in tumbling or drying. Weng is 'tagapiga', using a machine. Ate Agnes is the washer. Her position would be mine. She would be leaving tomorrow. For that, she taught me how to operate the machine, how to put fabric softener, and many more. She's so kind and supportive. Tomorrow, she's going to teach me hot to wash using some chemicals.

I have met also my supervisor. He looks kind.

Four, I was told to come back tomorrow for my formal training.

Five, I arrived at my in-laws' house. Later, I texted Abeng, Ate Juliet, and Auntie Vangie. Abeng and Auntie Vangie replied. Here are my aunt's replies in chronological order:

1. "Aba e good news yan! Mbuti nman pinag training agad u! Anong company yan at ano magi2ng work u?"

2. Pwd n rin mkpag xperience dyan mas marmi u m22han xporter pla eh at mlaki kesa d2 smin wla u iba m22nan.. K pagbutihin u lng at mgpkta u ng abilidad. Gudluck!"

I haven't asked her yet about my salary because she stopped replying to me. Good thing is I have thanked her...

I texted Ate Juliet. I was asking if she wanted me to lend P1000 as we already agreed upon. She doesn't reply. I hope she will for I need money. I need allowance and I have to buy milks and diapers.

I also texted Maila asking if she won. She sadly told me that she failed to make it because when she's doing her piece technical problem arose, which loses her concentration. I assured her that it doesn't matter if she doesn't make it. What important is she used my piece. Later we continue texting. We talked about many things. We have something in common.

August 18, 2007

Alarm woke me up at 5:30 AM. After 20 minutes of few preparations, I left my in-laws' house. It was then drizzling and the morning breeze was so cold.

I have gone astray at Sn. Joaquin, Pasig. Good thing is I arrived at Eastland on time. However, I was told to wait for Mam Lea. I supposed to be there at 8 AM. I was too early. Thus, I spend my remaining time texting. I texted Padi Glenn. I asked him if he knew Maila. He promised me that he would know her. I also replied Happy, Maila, and Abeng's text messages.

I was called by Mam Lea at 8:30 AM. Then, I was accompanied by two important personnel to Ate  Agnes. Finally, I started my training. Yesterday is my trial day.

Ate Juliet texted me, saying she would lend me P1000. She already handed it to Joy. But before that I promised Abeng that I would treat them on my first 'sahod'. It was because she vexed me.

Jano texted me, too. He was inviting me for a dinner in Bautista. Alas! I couldn't join him because I would be in Bodino after my training.

Ate Agnes trained me how to wash using chemical. She taught me intensively, while I asked her many questions about my work. I think I have had every detail I must learn—the chemicals' names and measures and textiles' types.

I started to make friends with my co-workers and to feel at ease at my new workplace. I could text her if I have a question.

Three, after a time control talked to me and advised me to have an x-ra oj Monday, I left Eastland. I went directly to Bodino. I arrived there at 4:40. Thus, I have had a chance to talk to my friend and other co-workers. I told them about my work. They were glad to my new job.

I packed some of my things and prepared to leave. However, I was stationed there for few minutes, for I joined my male co-workers in their drinking session.

In two shots of gin-orange, I got drunk. My vision rotated. Thus, I controlled myself. I declined to quaff the third 'tagay'.

I left them in their happenings. At least I showed them that I have been a good co-worker. I bode them goodbye. I also said adieu to Renoir, although it would not be my last presence there.

Past seven when I got home. My head was aching.

August 19, 2007

When Mj and I were already awake, she told me that she could smell something fishy. She could feel that I was committing adultery. My reply was "I am not because I'm not yet married." She announced that if she will not work abroad anymore. It scared me. My friendship to Maila is in danger. I don't want to lose it. But, I don't want Mj gets hurt.

Nine, while Mj was preparing for Hanna's stuffs, she was asking if she could come with us. I did not permit her for two reasons: (1) expense for frae: and (2) she's going to do laundry.

Before we left, Mj keeps on asking if we could go home today. I assured her I would stay there over night.

In Gate 2, the great rain poured out. Good thing is we had run at Jollibee. There, Hanna keeps on pointing inside. She wanted to dine or come in. I thought twice. When I decided to buy even regular fries for her, the queue was so long. Thus, I decided to go out. Good thing, the rain has stopped.

Minutes before ten, when we arrived in Bautista.

I visited my stuffs. I gathered some of my lost things.

Three, after Hanna's waking-up, I decided to go home. After merienda, Gie and Jano asked if they could leave us here. They're going to Tanay for outing. After a few seconds, I agree to stay overnight, so that Flor would have a company.

Flor accidentally have read my letter to her, which I wrote last Monday. She made a letter, too, saying she doesn't know about it. In short, it was all a fabrication of Auntie Helen. Here's one sentence she said: "Hindi mo kc alam kung gano ako proud na may kuya akong katulad moh."

I talked to her... She, again, confirmed that she doesn't utter that downgrading words. Thus, I decided to write a letter for Auntie Helen. I first assured her if she would really hand it it to Helena.

I have had a hard time tending Hanna into sleep. She has fallen in a deep sleep at 10 PM, while, I did at 11:30.

August 20, 2007

Six AM when I rose up. Seven, Hanna and I left Bautista. But before that, I reminded Flor about my letter for Helena.

Past nine, Mj, Hanna and I went to Bayan. I was going to be x-rayed. It was my first time. Thus, nervousness filled my heart. I thought I was going to take my clthes off. Good thing is it was not.

We're home at 11 AM.

Mj related me about work opportunity in Japan, being offered in barangay hall. We agreed to prioritize her birth certificate. But, the problem is financial. I only have P1000 on my wallet. It's good for 2 weeks. Plus, I have to buy milks and diapers and I have to give Mj P100 for Zildjian's vaccination. Haay!

Before 4 PM, I have claimed my x-ray result. It says like this:

There are hazed infiltrates noted in upper right lung field.

Heart is not enlarged.

Diaphragm and sinuses are intact.

Impression: Koch infection, upper right lung field.

The result disappointed me. I might not be hired because of that infection. Good thing is I have no lungs problem similar to TB or weak lungs.

Before dinner, I was invited to drink beer for the first time. I have drunk with Michael and his friend, Mon. Art was with us, too. It made me drunk. My vision was rotating when I took in my dinner, which made me sleepy.

August 21, 2007

Four-thirty, alarm woke me and Mj up. It was too early to move up, thus I reset it at 5:00 AM. When it alarmed, I got up immediately. I woke up MJ. She then assisted me in preparing my 'baon', breakfast, pampaligo', and clothes. Nanay got up too to ensure that I was okay. Before six, I was already outside. I just walked through Bayan. There, I rode a jeep to Pasig. Quarter to seven when I arrived at Eastland. I thought I would be late due to a terrible traffic. Good thing is I have had enough time commuting.

This is my third day of working at Eastland manufacturing Corporation, Inc., but this is my 2nd day of training. My first day is just a trial.

My work seems so hard. Ate Agnes was not there to assist me. Good thing, Joel is willing to help me.

I was still 'naiilang' to my workmates. They're fine, yet I would needed more time to do to memorize their names.

Since I have no work to do, I have written poems, entitled 'Hangganan' and 'Texting'.

Four, I received my allowance for one day or 8-hour work. It was P150. I also passed my x-ray result. I hoped it would not give me problem. I was finally told to start as a daily-rated employee. I would only be a trainee tomorrow.

I was home at 5:00 PM. I brought home 3 white shirts, I owed to my co-worker, named Rita. She's the one who sells shirts in Eastland.

Eleven, I was awakened by Mj. Jano phoned on Ilek's number. He, then texted me announcing that my x-ray got a problem. Thus, I have to undergo x-ray again tomorrow. It disappointed me so much. I almost gave up. But, Jano exemplified himself, as he contacted me tirelessly. He advised me to text Ate Genalyn. So I did.

Before I sleep, I made a deal with God. I would give up my friendship to Maila, if I want to have a clear x-ray.

August 22, 2007

Five, I woke up. I have read Ate Gina's text messages, which were sent to me at 1:00 AM. She said that I have to undergo x-ray gain. I could feel her pity and care for me. And, when I was at Eastland, Bilog talked to me. He said the same words. He also advised me. Later, Ate Gina visited me. I could see her eagerness to help me. I just hoped I pass the second x-ray.

Today, I was determined to forget Maila. I will text her but for a limited text only.

While working, I remember that the scenario happens today was one of my dreams. It actually became a reality. I just didn't know if I could pass the chest x-ray.

Before four, the timekeeper-trainer told me that I passed the training. So, I was going to start tomorrow. I sadly told her about my failure. She kindly advised me.

I received my allowance of P150 before I went to HRD. There, I was given a referral for x-ray. When I got home, I drank milk. I must pass the x-ray tomorrow. Our futures depend on it.

I slept early. 

August 23, 2007

Six when I got up. I woke up Mj to tell her that she has to make me hot milk before I take a bath. After a few minutes, I left the house. I arrived at Cainta Sacred Heart medical Surgical and Diagnostic Clinic very early at past 7. I was told to wait till 8:30 AM by the attendant. I was too nervous at that time. I tried to relax and calm myself. I was drinking the milk. I brought it. While waiting, I also talked to Jesus Christ.

Before eight-thirty, my second x-ray was made. I knew it was bad for my health. I have had two x-rays for only 3 days interval. Yet, I did it for employment's sake.

One-thirty, I went back to that clinic. I was scheduled to claim my x-ray at 3:00 PM. When I did, whew! I exclaimed, "Thank You, Lord!" I was so glad to the result. I could not forget the words: "Both lungs are clear. Heart is not enlarged. Diaphragm and sinuses are intact. Essentially normal lungs." Milk. I drank, helped me a lot. But, I knew God is the mastermind. Thus, I have to do my promises to Him.

Past three, I was at Eastland. I looked first for Ate Gina. But she wasn't there. Hence, I came in to HRD. There, I was told few things that saddened me. First, I have an orientation morrow. It will cost more than P5. Second, I have to pass 1x1 ID picture. It will cost more or less P50. Third, I have to submit birth certificate. I don't have one. I only have a certification. Lastly, I am going to start on august 28. It will make me unoccupied for 4 days, 3 days are working days. So, I will approximately lose more or less P1200. I hate this! So when I got home, I load my number and texted Ate Gina. I told her about it. She replied not. My load became useless. But it's okay. At least, I have informed her.

I was so sleepy at 8:30 PM, so I sleep early. 

August 24, 2007

Six AM, I was already wide-awake, but it was 7 when I got up. I then took a bath after having coffee. Eight, I left the house. It was after I told Mj that I will spend my non-working days in Bautista, She frowned, yet I did not mind her. Nine-fifteen, I was in Eastland. Ten, the orientation started. It was facilitated by HRD manager, Mrs. Cruz. It was all about rules and regulations. She pointed out some such as late and absenteeism, etc. Before I went home, I was told again by Mam Lea that I would start on Tuesday. I also talked to Joel, when I met him, about my 'pasok'. According to him, I was being searched by our immediate supervisor.

When I got home in Bautista, Flor was not yet there. It was past twelve. I waited too long for her. I tried and tried to unlock the locked doors. It was one PM when I succeeded. Good thing is there is food to eat.

I found out that Flor did not give the letter I wrote for Auntie Helen. It didn't make angry. I just wondered why she did not hand it to the 'fabricator'. When she arrived at 5:30 PM, I asked her why. She reasoned out that she forgot to do so.

I didn't know if I still will pursue it. My anger lowered down already. I knew it's God's will. And, I will let Him do the rest. She will be punished by Him.

When Gie and Jano arrived, they immediately queried me about my x-ray. They were gladdened by the fact that I passed the second x-ray and I was going to start on Tuesday. Jano advised me to rent a house near the vicinity of Eastland, so that we could save. I just did take a silence. I will see first if I can. 

August 25, 2007

Six when I rose up. After breakfast, I swept at the yards. They would be glad to see the changes.

Diarrhea was pestering me since 1:00 AM. Every 3 hours, I poo. The third was just an iota. I'm afraid it's an amoebiasis.

I spent the whole day watching TV. While I was cutting my on hair, the TV, set was on. I was just taking the opportunity. Besides, I would be occupied on Tuesday. I could no longer watch television because I would rather rest or play with my kids after work. 

Watching TV, indeed informs and entertains me. Today, I have learned many things. Shows I usually watch inspired me to do artworks, to live despite of burdens and to cook. 

At 5 PM, Flor wanted to hand the letter, I wrote and she forgot to give, to Auntie Helen, but I declined. She thought I'm coward. She didn't know my point. I have forgiven her. It would be better if I will let God do the punishment. Besides, I am now employed, not at Infinite, but at Eastland. I'd rather do my best to have a successful life and career. And, if she pursues it, I don't know what action I could do. So far, I forgot the pain she caused me. 

Good thing, bowel discharge problem has stopped. It was after I pooed at 2 PM. I hoped it would not come back. 

August 26, 2007

I got up at seven. I then walk around the garden, while waiting for the breakfast being cooked by Gie. After breakfast, I visited my stuffs. I got some that I would bring to my in-laws' house.

Jano and Gie left at past nine. Nine-thirty, I turned on the TV set. Watching TV is addicting. It made me a potato couch. Good thing, my eyes are flexible. Only my right thumb was giving up. It was due to remote control clicking.

Later, a problem was revealed to me. It was about the P700, Gie handed down to me last August 4 for their balance in the church. It alarmed me. I have done wrong about it. Only God knows the truth. And, I was so sorry for it.

Jano told me that I have to fix I soon. I will really. I will mend this.

"Lord God, I knew this is a penalty for me. Pardon me, God. I never meant to do this. I was just carried away by the consequences. If only I have had a choice at that time. I promise Lord, that I will fix it. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Amen."

I watched TV till 11:30 PM, despite of the problem I was going through. Funny and reality shows entertained had me somehow.

August 27, 2007

Seven, I got up. Minutes later, after breakfast, I set myself to leave. It was simultaneous to Jano-Gie's litanies about P700. I was speechless, almost.

Rain delayed my going-home. It was minutes-to-go eight when the rain lowered down. I was so problematic. In fact, the couple knew that I was going to St. Anthony de Padua Church directly. But, I was indeed decided to go home immediately. I was determined to pay the P700 at the church's accounting department as soon as I get my first wage receipt was issued. It was my fault, so I have to pay for it. They need the marriage contract as soon as possible. Thus, it rattles me.

Since my in-laws went to Boso-Boso, Mj and I have had a chance to talk money matters. I discussed to her about the P700. I also told her that we need additional budget because P1000 I owed to Ate Juliet was almost spent and it's good only for one week. She assured me that she will borrow P500 from Nanay. It somehow lessened my burden.

Two, I went to Bayan. I bought milk and diapers. I just walked back and forth to save. In fact, I was disappointed. Groceries and store items envied me.

Another problem that I have to solve is Hanna's skin disease, near her genital. We don't know what it was. All we know is that it's going on as if it has a life. Hanna keeps on scratching it. Mj wanted her to be checked up by a specialist, but we have no enough money yet. I pity her.

"Lord God, please heal Hanna's skin allergy. Don't' make it hard for her. She's too young for this. Lord, please heal her..."

I slept early.

August 28, 2007

The alarm clock woke me up at 5 AM. Mj woke me up, too. She assisted me. Thus, I was set after 30 minutes. I left immediately. I didn't want to be late on my first day. I am not a trainee anymore. Quarter to seven when I got there.

Past seven, Sir Louie talked to me. He advised me to be inquisitive. According to him, it's better to ask than to act like 'nagmamarunong'. He also told me about our department's Christmas Party. It was about nomination and prize-giving for those 'most industrious' employees in our department only. It interests me, so I have to be industrious and productive, so I could wish for a gift. I wanted to have a cellphone.

Though I was trained for 3 days, I was still like a first timer. I have to ask still because there were new fabrics. Besides, there's no harm in asking.

Today is my friend, Maila's birthday. I wanted to greet him through text, but there's no way to do so. "I'm sorry, pal."

Quarter to twelve, our department was met by Mam Leah, together with some other departments. The agendum was all about ATM. We would be using ATM already by first week of September.

Before I forgot, I met Ate Gina in the hallway. I knew she sees and notices me. I was wondering why she acted as if she doesn't see me. She looks at the opposite direction as I walk along. I haven't had a chance to greet her because I was surprised.

I suspect she's angry with me. But why? If it's because I have not thanked her, for she backed me for my job, it's because I decided to do it on my 'sahod' day. I will never be ungrateful to her. It is not my type. I am just waiting for the right time. Thus, Every time I see Bilog, I see to it that I talk to him. For this, I can show them that I'm thankful and grateful.

I got mad at 3 PM, when I asked the price of large-size of banana que. It was too expensive for P10. Yet, I still bought, for there's no 'tinda' outside or there was no vendor outside the factory. However, I promised myself that I will never ever buy snacks in the canteen anymore. Their snacks' prices are not reasonable.

Five, I was home. I was tired, yet happy. I tried to sleep early, however I failed to catch a tight sleep. It's due to television's volume. They're watching 'Jumong'.

August 29, 2007

When I got up at 5 AM, my eyes wanted to sleep again, but I went on. I couldn't afford to absent. It's my second day.

I left at 5:30 AM. It was them drizzling. Six-thirty when I arrived at Eastland.

My second day of work has been the same. The shyness and timidity lingering on my body was beginning to leave. I hoped I could get their 'kiliti', so that I would know how to deal with them, and how to crack a joke with them.

I realized that in every group, there is one, who acted as an elite individual. Aristocracy is everywhere.

Although, we have no enough work to do, I was still occupied by few loads. My work is really physical. It made me dynamic. I could not almost take a seat. But, it's okay. I have to meet my quota (120 bundles per day). I have to be nominated as most productive or highest performer in our department.

When I got home, I wanted to lie down. However, the double deck was occupied by Ilek. Thus, I couldn't help but to watch TV. Besides, I have not really caught sleep due to noise and 'kakulitan' of my children. I have had a hard time catching sleep. It might because I drank coffee at 5 PM.

August 29, 2007

When the alarm clock rang at 5 Am, I immediately got up. It caused me a temporal dizziness. I wanted to sleep back, but it couldn't be. Before 5:30 AM, I left to Pasig. It was 6:40 AM when I arrived at Eastland. I started working immediately. I have to meet my quota.

This is my third day. I think I was doing well now.

Afternoon. I was taught by Sir Louie of new washing instruction. I was also taught by Ely on how to wash Lan. It's a fabric that uses chemicals. I knew them all now.

Before I left at 4 PM, Sir Louie asked me if I want to work overtime (till 9 PM) tomorrow. Without much hesitation, I said yes. I indeed carved for OT, since then. I was in need of money.

In the hallway, I saw Bilog. Thus, I approached him. He then invited me to come with him to their house. Their house is walking distance from Eastland. It is not a house actually. It is just a space. I have learned from Tiya Letty that the rent is P2800, exclusive of electricity and water. Not bad! But, I don't like it. If Mj and I will rent a house, I will choose a house with a big space (outside and inside).

Mj proposed the matter of renting, last night. I told her that I have no financial capacity, yet.

I was so tired when I got home. My head was aching. Later, another pain has arrived. It was when Mj showed me Hanna's genital. The allergy became wounds. She then proposed for check-up. I strongly disagreed because she opted to bring Hanna to a dermatologist, who asks for P250 for check-up.I wanted her to be checked up, but I was in the midst of financial crisis now. I've got a lot of debts: P1000 from Ate Juliet, P700 from Gie-Jano, P500 from Nanay, and P300 from Ate Rita. Haay! I don't know what to do!

August 31, 2007

I got up early. I was so excited today because I would have an overtime work for the very first time. There, I was asked by Malou, a regular employee, why I did not apply in a bank. She said that if she’s in my feet, she’s not working in a factory. I said nothing. I don’t want to react or disagree. She didn’t know the real score.

I bonded with Ate Joan, who has a maiden name of Flores. We’re not related to each other, though. She’s fine.

While working overtime, Sir Louie was supervising us. He’s accommodating, he’s a good leader.

Time passed so fast. Five hours of OT has done. I left the workplace immediately. I was exhausted. When I got home, my kids were still awake. I kissed them, but I have no time to play with them. I sleep immediately after dinner.