My Journal --- July, 2007

July 1, 2007

I got up at 7:30 Am, after Mj's text has arrived. She said that Hanna has fever and lost appetite in drinking milk. Thus, I prepared some of her 'bilin' and my stuffs. It was past 8 when I left Bautista.

In Gate 2, I dropped by first at Bernie's house to tell them that their exam would be this afternoon (1 PM).

Nine, I arrived at my in-laws' house. Hanna came to me and embraced me so tightly. I pity her. Minutes later, I brought her to a store and bought her something to eat—caramelized pop rice.

Ten-thirty, I left to Lores for my exam. There, I waited so long for my turn. I realized that Filipino time is still in practice. It was past one when I started to take my exam. I found it very hard. It was composed of 5 sets of tests, such as Filipino, analogy, Math, problem-solving and abstract. The last two were the hardest of all. All in all, I have answered 160 items.

I discovered that my seatmates were cheating. They have a leakage. However, I pursue a honest and fair examination. Besides, it is better to get low score than to cheat my own self. I would be proud if I've made it because I did it fairly and honestly.

Two-thirty when I left the examination room. I bought, first, Hanna's antibiotic. I was shocked to its price. Imagine, it costs P202! Wew!

Three, I got home. I was so tired and hungry. I also felt sad because I thought I never made it. I reckoned I would not pass the examination. God thing is God reminded me that He would take care of my rate.

Before I eat my late lunch, I texted Jen/Taiwan, saying I was sorry for I couldn't drop by at their house.

I watched Rated K. the show featured different houses. It made me crave for our own house. Then I remember my dream, which I wrote in my journal, months ago. I wanted to pursue dreaming and striving for it.

Hanna is feverish. I pity her. She declines to drink the milk, I made for her.

I sleep at 9 PM.

July 2, 2007

Minutes later, after I got up at 6AM and kissed my children, Nanay handed me down a cup of hot coffee. Then, I took a bath. Before I left at 6:30 Am, I brought Hanna to store, because she wanted to come with me.

Traffic...

I worry so much that I might be late. However, when I arrived I saw my co-workers outside. The factory's still padlocked. Junior was not yet there. Then, I told my friends about my exam and how hard it was, which is true.

Quarter to ten when the key arrived. Thus, we have had no break time at 10. It made me so hungry. Eleven, Auntie Vangie talked to me about my exam. I told her that it was so hard and I might not be hired due to rampant 'padrino' system in the country. She agreed.

Five, my co-worker, Edward owed P100 from me. I did not disappoint him. Five-thirty, I washed y clothes. Marjs was texting, too. This was her last text: "Hirap ng gn2. Ok lng sana qng free tau pareho.. Un nga lng hindi."

Six-thirty, I phoned Mj. I regarded Hanna. She said that Hanna has only 'sinat', slight fever. She also told me that Zildjian's milk would be consumed two or three days only. I replied, "What could I do?''

I sleep early at past 9.

July 3, 2007

Today is Zildjian's 4th month birthday. I missed him. I wish I could kiss him. I wanted to bring him to a studio for a picture-taking.

My gal friends in Infinite are so kind to me. They want me to gain weight and muscles, thus they were feeding me.

Twelve-thirty, while washing dishes, Auntie Vangie talked to me. First, she told me that I must improve my physique because it's crucial in applying for job. Then, she advised me to get SSS number as soon as possible because it is a primary requirement in job application.

Five-thirty, Mj texted me. She missed me. Then, I asked her few things, such as Hanna's condition, Zildjian's 'handa' and news about my exam. According to her, Hanna has already no fever. However, she has still no appetite in both food and milk. She has still cough and cold. Zildjian has no 'handa'. And, my application in city hall has no result yet.

July 4, 2007

When I rose up at 6:30 AM, I could feel a stiffed-neck. I wonder why it happens to me. I never have had a tight sleep. I reckon it was due to low or high blood pressure.

While having a hot drink, untie Helen hailed me. She then talked to me. She opened up about April. According to her, April was about to work at ABS-CBN's canteen. I showed her my delight and happiness for her daughter's luck.

Twelve, Mj texted me. I then asked if Hanna is eating. Unfortunately, my daughter has fallen asleep. So she could not eat yet. I advised Mj what to do in order to induce Hanna in taking in food. I said, "Bola-bolahin mo 'yung kanin." For this, she would be enticed to eat. I would be glad to see her fat and round.

Five, we started the overtime work. It was my first time to have an OT.

Six, finishing girls went home. I was told by Kuya Junior to pursue working till seven. So, I did, despite of my aching neck.

Seven, I phoned Mj. I wanted to talk to Hanna. Unfortunately, I could not talk to her because she was sleeping already.

July 5, 2007

My stiffed neck was gone when I woke up. Then, I could also feel that my buttock ache has disappeared. For these, it was one of the beautiful days I ever had.

When I looked at my cellphone, I have got a message from Jay-R. He said that he wanted to meet me. He has just arrived yesterday. It gladdened me. I replied. Then, I have learned that he's in Taguig. We're going to apply tomorrow at GMA Network.

Quarter to nine, Marjs sent this message to me: "Psst! Aq 2. Kita tyo maya sa SM. Gs2 q lng my mkausap. Tx m aq f ok sau kw nrn set ng tym at place punta nlng aq.." Alas! I have dealt already with Jay-R. I would go to Pasay tonight.

Haay! Jay-R texted again. He's not going to Pasay today. So, my supposed meeting with Marjs was postponed, too. I texted her again... Yet, she replied not.

Six-thirty, Jay-R and I exchanged text messages. We end up in meeting tomorrow at Fairmart, Cubao. However, after few minutes, he phoned me. He postponed again our meeting tomorrow. Instead, he set up another day. I will instead go to Pasay on Sunday. It gladdens me somehow for I could still work tomorrow. Minutes later, he phoned on me. We agreed upon going to NBI clearance center. He asked for favour, thus I have no choice, but to accompany him tomorrow.

July 6, 2007

I rose up at 4 AM to take a bath. It was the earliest bath I ever had. After 30 minutes of preparations, I left Bodino. Five AM, I arrived at MRT-Quezon Ave. Station. I then have learned that 5:30 AM is the exact operation time of MRT. I waited for 30 minutes, therefore.

Six, I was in Pasay, particularly at Metro Point Mall, where Jay-R told me to wait. I then texted him twice. He responded not. I also texted Ate Baby, who told me that she has left home already. I almost get mad waiting. Seven when he arrived. We immediately rode a jeepney going to Quiapo. While on the vehicle, we talked a bit.

Eight, we're starting to fall in line I every steps of NBI clearance application. Lines were so long already. Nine, we at last receive his NBI clearance. He then treated me at Jollibee. I have proven his gallantry. He spent P200+ for our food. While eating, he oriented me about his cousin and our prospected work. He hasn't yet seen personally his cousin, who will back up us at GMA. Marlon Habal is his cousin's name, who is a supervisor of a group of janitors. Then, I was inspired by his success story. According to Jay-R, his cousin is only an elementary undergraduate (Grade 4). He was once a janitor, but now he owns a house in Kamuning and secures a position. Thus, I am so willing to sacrifice for this job. I will be proud even though I will only be a janitor.

We then agreed to visit Ate Nora in Malibay, Pasay. So, we did. I was not recognized immediately by his sister. She laughed at my physical attributes. She asked why I was so thin. I replied, "Dati pa naman, e."

One, we left Ate Nora's carinderia. It’s because I was going to get SSS number in Frisco. Jay-R and I separated at the highway. I rode a bus, bound to Monumento. He rode a jeep, bound to FTI-Tenement. Before that, I asked for P20. I haven't had a coin. My money is P500 bill. He's giving me P50 actually, but I only took P20.

My 'lakad' was known to Auntie Vangie. She has learned it from the finishing Girls, but I corrected it through text, as a reply to her. Finishing Girls knew that I was at GMA.

Before three, I was at Muñoz. I bought Propan at Mercury. It was a vitamin for Hanna to enable him to gain appetite. Wew! It's too expensive. Almost P200, huh! But, it's okay. I would be glad if I could see Hanna round and healthy.

Then, I dropped by at SSS Frisco Branch. I filled out form and waited so long. While waiting, text messages arrived. One was coming from Jay-R. He thanked me. Another was coming from Ate Juliet, one of the Finishing girls. She invited me to her blow-out at Jollibee-Frisco Branch. Tomorrow is her birthday.

Four, when my number was called. After almost hour of waiting, my birth certificate was rejected. According to the crew/staff, my certificate has no registration, page and book numbers, which is true. She advised me what to do, so next time, I already knew what to bring. I must bring birth certificates from NSO—BC of mine, BC of Zj and BC of Hanna.

My salary was only P740 (P185x4). Paul-C gave me P60 as my allowance. My 3 hours overtime was unpaid. Never mind.

Six, Finishing girls and I went to Frisco. Ate Juliet's blow out took place at Jollibee. I ordered Happy Meal, which offers a free Transformers toy. I would give it to Zj, when he grows up.

After the blow-out, I bought milks and diapers at the grocery store nearby. The prices were lower compared to others.

Seven-thirty, I was home. Ate April was there. She brought pancit, chicken joy, sisig and bbq from her sister-in-law's 'handa'. I was so full actually, but I still eat.

July 7, 2007

Stiffed neck woke me up. It means I have had a tight sleep last night. Maybe. I could feel the absence of mosquitoes. Plus, the cold due to rainy weather, which was started.

From 8 to 5, I suffered from having a stiffed neck. It continuously burdened me. Five, after our work, I phoned Mj. She told me about her mother's tantrum. It irked me. I blamed myself why I called on her 'pa'. I would haven't been learned her problem, if I did not. Hence, I rushed home. I planned to leave at seven, but I have to go early as possible.

Past seven when I arrived at my in-laws' house. The girls were at Tito Jun's house, attending a birthday party. Mj was in bad mood. I understand. She served me dinner.

When my girl in-laws arrived, I have already decided to go home in Bautista. Mj has stopped me, so I undressed. I postponed my leaving. Besides, I gave P100 to Mj. It was supposed to be the amount for my 'pasalubong' to my brother and sister.

Yesterday was our 42nd mensisary. I forgot to greet Mj. She also has forgotten to text me. However, I wrote a letter for her at 8 AM this day. It goes like this:

Honey,

When I looked back to our past, I have realized that we have been in a long, winding journey to a happy relationship. We're now on our 42nd month Whew! I could still remember how it all started.

Now, we're 4. You're till anticipating for my love. Don't worry I will never leave you. I might be a womanizer, but I will always treasure you... I will always treasure our relationship that gives us two wonderful children.

I sometimes look at other girl, but it doesn't mean that I'm flirting.

I sometimes commit adultery, but it's because I need it.

Happy 42nd Mensisary!

Let's cherish our happy days and forget the bad days.

Bee,

After reading it, Mj slapped it to my face. She misunderstood my epistle. She turned back. I then started to ask myself. What are the words that hurt her? I just told her the truth. I used 'treasure you' and 'sometimes'.

Since I was too sleepy, I have no time to explain. Thus, I slept early at 9 PM.

July 8, 2007

I didn't know what time I got up to attend Zj and Hanna. I could feel Mj's bad feelings toward me. We both took a silence. I tried to talk to her, but she declined to response.

After breakfast, I started to kiss my children. Then, I dress up. She handed me a letter. I didn't read it yet. I instead brought Hanna to a store and bought her biscuits. I bade goodbye. She kissed me. She did not cry.

On the jeep, I read the letter.

Poroy,

Sa sulat ko na lang sasabihin ang gusto kong sabihin. Parang 'di ko na kayang humarap sa'yo... Alam ko na ang nais mong sabihin... Masakit! Pero, kailangan kong tanggapoj. Sana hindi mo na lang sinabi. Siguro hanggang ditto na lang talaga tayo. Kahit kalian, hindi mo taglaga ako matutunang mahalin. Pero, kahit paano naging masaya ako. Sa tatlong taon ng pagsasama natin, marami na tayong pinagdaanan at nakita ko ang mga sakripisyo mo, lalo na sa mga kids. Salamat!

Hindi kita masisisi, pero sana maintindihan mo rin ang magigigng desisyon ko. Ito na siguro ang huling pagkikita natin, at huling beses na makikita mo ang mga anak mo. Kakayanin ko na lang mag-isa. Inaalis ko na ang karapatan mo sa kanila. Hindi madali itong desisyon ko, pero kakayanin ko. Parang 'di ko na kayang Makita ka, 'di ko na kayang dumikit pa sa'yo. Pag naiiisip ko 'yun. Gusto kong magalit sa'yo, pero bakit pa. Sasayangin ko lang ang mga luha ko. Sana maging masaya ka. Malaya ka na! Kalimutan mo na kami. Si Hanna, Si Zildjian. Papakuha ko na lang ang mga gamit do'n.

Thanks for the memories...

Thanks for giving me 2 wonderful kids.

Sana maging masaya kayo, kung sino man siya.

GOODBYE!

Jane,

My tears wanted to fall. Good thing is I have held them. But, when I reread the letter at home, they drop abundantly. I could imagine what my life would be without her and my children. I never thought it would end up on this.

When I got home in Bautista, Jano and Flor were out of sight. The doors were locked. I wanted to thank Flor for this, because I have had time to write a reply letter for MJ.

Mary Jane,

A big laugh for you!

U misunderstand me.. I nvr said that I'm leavin' u.. I said, "I'll nvr leave u and I

I'll alwyz treasure u.." It s tru thtI'm commncting w/ my ex but I limit myself. It's just a mttr of texting, anyway.

I hve plannd to separate w/ u mny tyms. But my conscience stops me. Besides, there's no reason at all for dis. I've been so hapi w/ u, esp. when Hanna n' Zj were born. They're actually the two reasons why I'm still w/ u and why I'm still holdin' on.

It hurts me when u decided to live w/o me. I don't tnk I could bear it. However I'm looking 4wrd to mend dis misundrstndng.

Reread and analyse evry line of my letter. And u'll knw tht I haven't said a bad word. I jst speak out of the trth. "Sometimes' doesn't mean always.

Come to think of it agn.

I'm jst hre..

El Saga,

I spent my lonely time watching TV...

Six-thirty, Jay-R texted me, announcing that our 'lakad' tomorrow would be postponed because our backer hasn't arrived yet. It saddened me.

Seven-thirty, Mj texted me. "Can we talk", she says. Thus, we conversed through texting. She apologized. It gladdened me. We were okay. I have told her everything. I said, I will never leave her. I promised that I will support them financially. 

July 9, 2007

Thirty minutes after I woke up at 5 o'clock, I left Bautista. It was quarter to eight when I arrived at the garments factory. My friends or co-workers in finishing department were startled to my presence. They know that I was going to apply at GMA today.

Morning till one, Mj and I were exchanging messages. I just stole time to send my messages. One of her messages was asking me if she could go to Bautista on Saturday. She misunderstood me again. I told her that if the weather is good, ''Why not?''

After dinner, Kuya Junior, Kuya Lito and I drank beer. It was my first time to drink, since I started working there. One reason was because Renior went home. I have had no guts to drink whenever he's present. Besides, Jano advised me to join the in the name of 'pakikisama'.

Our topic, while drinking was about the unseen creatures dwelling here in our compound. My hair rose when I related them my experience a while ago. I have heard a snore in the dark.

Past ten when I slept.

July 10, 2007

I didn't know what time I got up. All I know is that I have a good night sleep.

Past ten, Terry Fe and I texted each other. We talked about the nuptial of Jano and Gie. Taiwan has invited them already. I hen induced her to come.

Next, I and Mj exchanged text messages. I was doing it secretly.

Quarter to one, I approached Auntie Vangie. We talked about the upcoming wedding. She's going to attend. It's sure.

In the afternoon, I texted Mj. I told her to prepare her dress for the wedding. She has to wear beautifully and elegantly because we would have a lot of guests, such as our classmates and our kin. I replied too that I was planning to buy clothes for Zj and Hanna. They must be amiable on that day.

Three, I related the false alarm break up of 'Mj and I'. They were laughing at me. They got immediate happiness and fun.

I was told by Kuya Junior to overtime. So, I did. I just finish the assorting and tying of San Miguel Beer t-shirts, then I stopped. I have had one hour OT.

Boboy was texting regularly, hence, at six-thirty, I responded to his text. I told him that I am working already.

Then, Mj texted me as a reply to my text. She says, "Yaw ni ttay sbi q sau e, wag nu n ashan un. Wla nmn amor stn un e. Byaan n lng ntn cla. Msta araw mo?" I replied, "Hay, naku. Ncra ang gbi q dhl sa cnbi mo!" Then, here's her reply: "Nappagod n rn cguro." I wasn;t convinced. I showed my anger through my text. Mj was forced to tell this: "yaan u na. knna nga nung nlmn nla buntis c sis sbi ni madir dpt dw mgknya2 n. Dpt dw my haus n tau. Sbi q pgtanggap u GMA als n kmi d2." It irked me so much. Thus, I told her that I will do my best to take the away with my unfair in-laws. These are my last words: "Pag hnd nla ngw yn s mga tamad mong kptid, tlgang mnnwla n aq." I'm sure they will miss my 'mag-iina',if this will so...

We continue our texting after dinner, however she quitted sending message after I told her that I won't marry her, unless she decided to work abroad. But, I continue texting her. I explicated my point. There were my statements, explaining why she must work abroad:

1. Because I could not bear all the finances,

2. Because she's fit and I'm not. I could feel that would not pass medical examination.

3. Because her family treats her as if she's not a member,

4. Because I want her to find herself and have self-actualization,

5. Because our kids are growing,

6. Because I want her to have a self-disposition,

7. Because I want a better life for the four of us,

8. Etc...

I also pronounced that I don't want any more to accept any money from her uncle because it would be the reason why my in-laws has an indifference attitude towards us.

I didn't expect for her reply. Thus, I promised that if would be the last time, I would talk about 'abroad'. I then bade good night.

July 11, 2007

As usual, the drinking-of-hot-drink was my first activity. Then, taking a bath follows. At eight, I started to anticipate for Mj's text message. Time passes by, but nothing arrives. It makes me sad. I was worrying. However, at 2 PM she sends this: "Sori kung lately d n tau ngkksundo.. Cguro nga we nid space. Sngaun dn rush me s gs2 u. But pls gve me tym 2 decide." I replied that I'm not in a hurry. Finally. She agrees. "Cge n nga. D dhil s gs2 q n pkslan u n me ha. S 220 lng mhna ang loob q.. S ngaun d q p tlga iwan mga kids lalo na maliit p c Zj." I answer back, telling her that I'm not in a hurry. All I need is her decision.

Her decision gladdens me. I could now have a peace of mind. It was like an assurance to me.

Six, we all, except for Joy, went to Tandang Sora to attend Ivan's 23rd birthday. There's a lot of 'handa', however I've lost my appetite when I was in front the buffet table. Thus, I instead drank light beer, while indulging in the 'pulutan'. I have drunk only three bottles of beer.

We left at past 11. We arrived at 12 MN.

July 12, 2007

I was so sleepy while working. I wanted to timeout, but I couldn't. We're rushing bulk orders.

Twelve-thirty, Jay-R texted me. He asked, 'Musta'. He's in Pasay today. I didn't reply. Besides, I have no load. I was waiting for good news from him.

Before 1 PM of after I dishwashed, Auntie Vangie showed me Ate Jennilyn's text messages about me. I should say that Auntie has an ill-feeling toward me.

Past nine when Jay-R responded to my text. He said that he doesn't even know why his cousin doesn't text him. He did not know when will apply at GMA. It frustrates me again.

Before that, mama phoned on me. She confirmed that she was going home on July 17. She opened up about Hanna's birthday, but I showed no interest for I have no money. I could feel that she would prepare for it.

Mj texted me, telling me about my kids. According to her, Zildjian already knew how to 'dapa' fast. Hanna's appetite is as is, though she drinks milk more often. It gladdens me.

July 13, 2007

Seven when I rose up.

Eight to five, I worked happily. I love my job, for it gives financial support. I could not imagine life without Infinite Enterprises.

Six, I received my salary of P1110. Then, I decided to go to Rancho. I first bought milks and diapers.

In Cubao, I window-shopped and I dined at my favourite P18-combo, before I left. Then, I just bought footlong for Mj.

Nine when I arrived at my in-laws' house. The door was closed already. My parents-in-law were sleeping that time. Good thing is Michael and Ilek were still awake to open the door for me. Zildjian and Hanna were also sleeping. I just kissed them.

July 14, 2007

Five-thirty, Mj woke me up, then she served me a cup of coffee, while I was preparing my stuffs. My children were still sleeping. I woke them up. It's only Zildjian who responded. I kissed them, before I left. Hanna doesn't even know that I arrived.

Seven when I arrived at Bodino. I then took a bath. Eight, Bigit texted me. He's in Sta. Mesa. I replied, but he did not do the same.

The working hours passed so quickly. Five PM, I left Bodino. I went to Sauyo, Novaliches. There, I talked to Mama about Mj's decision of working abroad. At first, she disagreed. She wanted me to work abroad, while Lola Alice agreed that Mj must be the first.

Mama changed her mind. She's not going to Antipolo on Tuesday anymore. She's afraid she might be thinned by tiredness. She would rather work there. She then confided something. It's all about Hanna's gown.

Before I left, Mama owed bihon and vegetables for Hanna's birthday.

I window-shopped at Cubao. I wanted to buy a shirt with a 'Zildjian' print, but I realized that I don't need it. Then, I eat at my favourite combo food cart. I ordered buko juice, macaroni and fruit salad for only P23. It's cheap, but it filled my stomach.

I arrived at 9:25 PM. My 'mag-iina' was still awake. I talked to Mj about Hanna's birthday celebration tomorrow. It would be held here. 

July 15, 2007

Six, I was already wide-awake. I played with Zj. I enjoyed playing with him.

At seven, Jano texted me, asking if I could be at our house today. He told me that Taiwan and Jen were there, since last night. So, my plan of celebrating Hanna's birthday at my in-law's house has changed. Good thing is my in-laws were going to Boso-Boso. Thus, there's no one is going to be left, except for Michael. Right away, I decided to make it in Bautista.

Past eight, we left Rancho.

In Gate 2, we market 'pansahog' and 'ulam'. We also bought Goldilocks cake. It's my gift to Hanna.

Nine, we're in Bautista. Jano and Tai were busy cutting tree branches. They're preparing timbers.

I cooked our lunch. After eating, I started to cook pancit. Past two, I was done cooking. The, I invited Rodea and April. Jessica was there, too. She talked to me about Nonoy and about my family.

Three, my invited guests arrived. Minutes later, my in-laws arrived, too. It was after Hanna declined to blow her candle. However, the celebration continues. It was simple, yet happy. Everybody here in compound has fed. The cake was consumed. I just hoped my 'pansit' passed to the eaters' mouth and rated 'good' by them.

It was after the celebration when I realized that my P700 was almost consumed. Yet, I never minded it anymore. It was the gift to my precious daughter.

Six, I prepared the ukay-ukay' stuffs, that I would sell tomorrow in Bodino. It hoped it clicks.

While cooking, Mean and I were texting. We talked about how I enticed Mj to work abroad. She disagreed o how I treated my wife. Later, I have clearly explained to her what I am planning and what are my intentions—good intentions.

July 16, 2007

Past five when I got up, so as Mj. After preparations, we left Bautista at 6 AM. We part ways in gate 2.

Momoy rode on the same jeep, I was riding on. I wished he's not there. I was ashamed. Thus, I tried to nap. He paid my fare.

On the jeep, I was thinking what if I humbly talk to Auntie Vangie and ask for extension. I wanted to work in the garments factory till December, so that I could finance Mj's requirements preparation. She must know that Mj has finally decided to work abroad.

I arrived at 7:30. I then took a bath immediately. Before eight, finishing Girls were choosing at my 'ukay-ukay' Leo owed three blouses for his wife. My sales was only P120. It disappoints me. Abing, Ate Juliet and Rachie did not purchase. They don't like my merchandise.

Twelve, I haven't had a chance to talk to Auntie Vangie because Auntie Helen was present. She could hear us.

Mj texted me. She asked if I want to apply at Banko Sentral ng Pilipinas, where her friend, Allan, works. I replied, telling her that I would love to, yet she's not sure of it. Hence, I advised her to ask her pal, first. When she texted, she told me that Allan would tell us when I should apply. It excites me.

Evening, Auntie Helen hailed me. She opened up about Ate Diyang and her grandson. We have had a nice, long conversation. We did not mind the mosquito bites outside.

Mj, since I gave Bigit's cp number upon her request, confided that they were texting. She dared to make me jealous, but she failed.

July 17, 2007

Before I got up, I replied to Bigit's text message, which was sent to me last night. He said that he has just learned that we already have two kids. He declared himself a 'ninong'. Thus, I replied, "Oo ba! Ninong ka." It doesn't matter anyway to me if Mj and he were ex-lovers.

The whole day seemed boring and gloomy to me. I was so sleepy, as well.

I greeted Hanna a happy birthday. She enjoyed talking to me on the phone.

Six PM, I assisted Renoir in typing the invitation. The disk was not read by his PC, that's why we have to start all-over again. I was also texting Jano something unclear to me.

Past seven when we all see the result. It was wonderful. It's different from the couple's ideal. Thus, I have to bring it to Gie tomorrow at her office.

Bigit texted me. He told me that if he has a chance to meet me on our birthday, he will invite me.

Eight, Junior, Renoir, Lito and I made a round-table session, in front of gin-orange punch. It was my first time to mingle with Renoir. It was just a sort of 'pakikisama'.

Mj texted me, too. She asked if we have a problem to talk to. I suspect Jenny gave her idea. I replied, "Wala naman." Thus, she promised that she'll be open to me. She wanted me to be open, as well.

I was drunk. We consumed three bottles of gin. Eleven when we sleep. My head was aching.

July 18, 2007

When I get up at 6:30 AM, my head was still aching and I was feeling nausea, yet I tried to start my day. I took a bath. When the time passed by, what I was feeling has gone.

Twelve, I went to Tatalon, QC—at Gie's office. I brought the wedding invitation sample, made and printed by Renoir. She liked it, but she couldn't decide whether to pursue printing or not, without Jano's consent.

It was five minutes to go, before one when I arrived. I haven't had my lunch yet. Three PM when I ate my lunch.

Past six, Renoir called me. We started printing. We were watching "Borat', while doing it. It's funny.

Seven, Bigit texted me. He's inviting me to drink. Without hesitation, I told him that I couldn't join them because I was so occupied in making invitations or helping Jano.

Nine, I texted Kurata. We talked about job-seeking. I also invited her to attend Jano-Gie nuptial, like what we did to Klyn.

July 19, 2007

Happy birthday to me! I'm 27 years old already.

Early at 6 AM, I have read text message from Abeng, greeting me a 'Happy birthday'. She made an effort, for she sent it at 12:04 AM. I thanked her and told her that she's the first one who greeted me. When I got u, I was greeted by Kuya Junior, Auntie Helen and Kuya Lito. I realized that I'm so lucky today for they never forget my special day.

I texted Bigit, greeting him a 'happy birthday'. He returned back the same message. Then, Ate Nelie sent a birthday greetings. I thanked her. Rolly Boy greeted me, too. He teased me for blowout. I just laughed.

Ten-thirty, Mj greeted me again.

Twelve, I went to Tatalon. I brought the printed, unembellished invitations. I realized that I was doing a sacrifice. It was so hot and I never had my lunch yet. But, it's okay. I was doing it happily.

Another three greetings I received were from Mang Andoy, Manang and Ate Rita.

Fifteen minutes before one when I arrived. Auntie Vangie greeted me.

The teasing continued till 5 PM.

Five PM, we started overtime work. We have had a chance to talk. I confided to Rachie and Abeng about Mj-and-I's family problem. We also talked about confidential things, till seven.

Seven-forty, Renoir handed me down their gifts. It was composed of three assorted t-shirts. I thanked him gladly. I also texted Auntie, saying "Thank u po sa t-shirts!"

After dinner, Renoir blew us out. He gave us money for gin-orange punch. We have consumed 3 bottles of gin. I never thought that he's going to treat me like that.

When I got drunk, I found myself laughing with them. I was so happy. That was my first time to celebrate my special day with them. My 'pagkailang' to Renoir was temporarily gone.

After consuming the three bottles of gin, we drink beer. I almost vomit, thus I tried to drain it off. Ashamed I was when Renoir says, "Brod, wag mong itapon 'yan." I then took it in persistently. I vomit before I go to my mat and minutes after. It was already one AM.

July 20, 2007

When I woke up, my head was aching. I felt nausea. Good thing is it was gone at 10 AM. I have had a good appetite.

Eleven-thirty, M texted me she says, "Bee, makkauwi k b mya? Kc simot na tlga wla n mlk mga kids.. Diapers din. No more 2big n rin c Zj. Bli u sya absolute or wilkinns. Wla pera mga tao d2. Pltin u uwi.. Mj"

I phoned on her at 12 NN. I decided and promised her that I would go home tonight.

Afternoon, Auntie Vangie announced that only Ate Nel and Ate Juliet would have a 'pasok' tomorrow, since we have no more 'gawa'. It party disappointed me. I would lose P185, yet I could wash my clothes tomorrow in Bautista.

After work, I and my four friends went to Frisco. We dined at Jollibee. This was my blowout treat to them. I owed P100 to Rachie.

Six, I have bought milks and diapers. Six, I waited for Renoir. He has to save the invitation format to my diskette as requested by Jano. It was actualized at seven. I left immediately.

In Anonas, I bought Likas papaya soap, baby cologne and distilled water, as requested by Mj. I also eat mami at the food cart nearby.

Nine, I was at home already. My children were wide awake, so as my in-laws. I gave my t-shirt, a gift from Auntie Vangie, to Tatay.

Bigit texted me. He asked me about my big day yesterday. Then, he told me to understand him that he's texting Mj. I assured him that it's okay.

July 21, 2007

I attended Zj for a few minutes. He's so handsome. If only I have nothing to do in Bautista, I would stay there and play with him all day long.

Nine, I left my in-laws' house. Mj wanted to go with me, but I did not permit her. Thus, he showed madness, before I left.

I was in Bautista when her text arrived. It goes like this: "Galit aq sau.. Prang ayw u kmi ksa ng kids. Mnsan n nga lng kmi mkwla d2 e. Pwes! Lubusin n ntin, wg k n pnta d2 tutal ayaw u nmn kmi ksm. Dn rn aabay Hnna. Wag n muna tau magkta.. dhil naiinis aqo." I replied telling her that I was not afraid. She must not dare me because she couldn't do it. She has no capability to do so. I told her also my sole reason why I didn't want them to go with them. It's because I have no money. Fare is so expensive.

I helped Gie in doing some important things, while Jano and Roy were doing 'axing'. I also reorganized the garden plants.

After marketing at5 PM, I washed my clothes.

I slept at eleven. Rats disturbed my sleep. 

July 22, 2007

I haven't had a tight sleep due to rats' disturbances and my backache. It's cold last night, thus I have experienced it again. It was seven when I got up. Drinking coffee was my first activity, followed by dishwashing, and the priority –the cleaning at the reception area. At 10:30, I have made it. It depicted a lot of changes. Taiwan arrived at 1 PM, while I was resting.

When Gie got home, she was with her friend Ging-Gang and her cousin Alex. They brought some food. Thus, I have got strength to pursue my work.

Before I forgot, Mj texted. She says, "Bee, may blouse d2. Utang ni Mchell kya lng d ksya kunin q sna. 300 Imon 2 pay. Kunin q b? kung ayw u soli q." Bad thing is I have no load. I want to reply and tell her, "If it fits you, get it and I will pay for it."

After dinner, Jano commanded Flor to buy Clot 45 beer. Thus, Taiwan, he and I drank. It made me tips. I was still awake at 11 PM. I did not know what time I have fallen asleep. 

July 23, 2007

Though I set an alarm for 5 AM, I still wasn't awakened by it. I got up at 5:30 AM. Minutes before six when I left Bautista. Fifteen minutes to go when I arrived at the garments.

From 8 AM to 5 PM, I was working, despite of terrible heat. Oftentimes, I communicate with my co-workers. We talk, while doing.

Twelve, I lent Edward a sum of P100.

Five, I went to SSS-Frisco Branch and asked for E-1 forms. I planned to get an SSS number and let Mj do the same.

Before six, I replied Mj's messages. I also texted back Epr. I invited him to Jano-Gie wedding. However, he did not commit.

Six, I washed my clothes.

Nine, I was already asleep.

July 24, 2007

When I woke up, I have got lots of text messages. One of them was from Jay-R. He's regarding me. I replied back, yet he has no response till nine. I texted him again, but until 5 PM, he did not answer me. It annoyed me.

Five PM, I passed my bio-data at the company nearby that was looking for inventory clerk. Bad thing is I have not elaborated my position desired. I uttered "God, help me win the position, please." Then, I went to Gie's office. She hasn't got home yet. Ging-Gang was there, too.

Six when I got home. I was so tired, walking.

Seven, Kuya Junior invited me and Kuya Lito in unwinding. Then, in a nearby store, we drink beer. I only drank one bottle, while they drink two each. I wondered why I could no longer last long in drinking beer. Maybe it's because I have no enough practice. Or I just have self-control.

After dinner, I took a sleep. I was tipsy, huh.

July 25, 2007

Before eight, Auntie Helen and I conversed. We tackled Jano and Gie's wedding. Alter, she confided that Tito Zaldo has an ill-feeling toward Jano for he couldn't afford to pay the former. I explained that Jano has no money at all. He just owed the money for their wedding.

Twelve, I phone n Mama. She said that she's going home if only Auntie Vangie gives her the money. She would call her later.

Five, I was waiting for Auntie Vangie to talk to me about the money, but she did no, until she left home.

I thought Renoir was not printing the invitations, but I was wrong. He was doing it 'pala',

After I washed the dishes, I conversed to Auntie Helen. That was when I confided about Mj's decision of going abroad. I hope it would be the way to Auntie Vangie's ears. I wanted her to know about it.

No one has texted me this day. It partly saddened me. However, it saved me, for I have no load.

I sleep at past 10 PM. 

July 26, 2007

After I have taken a bath, Auntie Helen and I agreed upon going to Divisoria tomorrow, so that we could buy gown for Hanna and for Denize.

Finishing Girls, especially Ate Nellie told me that I have already gained cheeks. I must be thankful to them because they were making me fat by letting me eat with their 'baon'. I hoped so.

Then at 10:30. Mj texted me. She declared that my kids were about to be 'milkless' and diaperless'. I replied. "Pagkasyahin mo!" I reasoned out. I told her that I would not be there tomorrow night because I would go to Divisoria. At the end of our text conversation, she was telling me what to buy aside form gown and shoes. So, I said , "Ok!".

While dishwashing, I was waiting for Auntie Vangie to approach me. But, she did not. I wondered if Mama called on her yesterday.

Three-fifteen, Jay-R texted me. He asked if I have a work and if he could have one. He confided also that he has worked at GMA 7 already, but he did not like the work. Finally, he told me that he will join Jano-Gie nuptial, after I invited him.

Five, after work, I went to Tatalon. Meters away from Gie office, Niña Gime tapped my arm. I was startled. She just smiled and bade goodbye. I knew she was working nearby. Bad thing is we haven't had a chance to talk or regard ourselves. Never mind! We're not that close, anyway.

Last night, I started exercising. I was using a 15 kgs. dumbbell. I was determined to pursue it till I have that so called muscles.

July 27, 2007

Days pass by so slowly. I was so excited to the upcoming nuptial.

Auntie Vangie announced that we would have no 'pasok' tomorrow. It was 11 AM. Then, she also approached me, saying that I must go to Sauyo. She told me that Mama went to their house at 7 AM this day.

Romeo Frilles, my high school close friend, texted me. He got my number from Jano. They meet in Gate 2 last night. I've learned from him few things, such as "He's working at Foremost Farms." But the most interesting fact about him is that he has a bf. He confirmed it to me. He would attend to the wedding on August 4.

He has learned my status, too. And as we continue texting, he thought and believed I am a teacher. I confirmed to him that I'm not.

After work, I went to Novaliches. There, Mama was waiting for me. Without further ado, we left Sauyo. It was near 7 PM. We went directly and immediately at Isetann's. We market groceries.

It was past 10 when we got home. We both know that the couple was not there. Flor Rhina has a companion, who sleeps over in our house.

Accidentally, I have killed a kitten, a pet of Jano and Gie. I never knew that he was sandwiched on the door. I hoped they would not get angry on what had happened.

July 28, 2007

Two AM, I was still awake. I did not know why. Seven, I rose up. I have to help Mama in cleaning. Thus, after breakfast, I started to clean some dirty things and areas.

Before I left home at 10, Rodea came in. She talked to Mama. I overheard what they're talking about. She kept on admiring our family. She said that Mama's so lucky to have children like us.

Mj showed me the blouse she got from Michelle. It's nice, but it's too expensive. She tried it, together with her pants and shoes. It satisfied me, thus I gave her P100 for weekly premium.

Twelve, I left Antipolo. I went to Divisoria. It's my first time there. It did not give me nervousness. I knew how to handle my money safely.

I have had a hard time shopping. I have only found 'butterfly wing'. I stopped looking for basket. Thus, I decided to buy Hanna a gown, though Mama told me that she will do the 'buying'. I just did not want to spare the opportunity. Besides, I was so excited to see my daughter on her royal blue halter gown.

I also bought sando and shorts for Zj.

It was 5 PM when I rode a jeep to Cubao.

Six-thirty when I arrived at Auntie Vangie's house. Seven when I was entertained. I never stayed long there.

I phoned on Mj. I explained to hr why I have to go to Bautista tonight, in lieu of staying at their house.

In Cubao, I market disposables. I also eat 'bihon' there. My 'lakad' made me hungry. It made my head ached, too.

I was overloaded. I have a back pack on my back, a paper bag on my left hand, and plastic bags on my right hand. They were coat, 'barong', gown, disposables and many more.

Past ten, I was home.

July 29, 2007

Five-thirty, Mama was already doing something. She has made noises. It disturbed me, thus I decided to get up and help her. I cleaned the room and reorganized unwanted stuffs. I have done my part that time, so I left Bautista at 8 Am. I was so excited, in fact, to fit the gown to Hanna. Hence, when I arrived at my in-laws' residence, we're all glad to see her on her almost complete flower girl outfit. If only I have bought her shoes.

Eleven, Flor arrived. We then went to the market and bought several items. We had a hard time looking for lace and colored candles. I quit searching. We part ways at 12 NN. I got home at 12:20 PM.

After lunch, sleepiness visited me. At first, I have had a tough time catching sleep. Good thing is everybody has fallen asleep. So do I.

Frenel texted me. She told me that her boyfriend and she separated. She did not renounce the reason yet.

I sleep early at 8:30 PM.

July 30, 2007

Past 6 when I left my in-laws' house. Seven-thirty when I arrived at the garments factory. I immediately took a bath.

The-thirty, I was thinking of right approach for Auntie Vangie. So, at twelve noon, I asked her a favor if she could tell her 'tagalakad' to take my job of walking Mj's SSS number. After few questions, she accepted the documents. But, she's not that sure if the 'tagalakad' would take it. I then have told her that Mj was planning to go abroad. We did not talk about it further.

Today is Jefferson's birthday. I texted him, greeting him a happy, happy birthday. he replied with 'kalokohan' message. I invited him to Jano-Gie nuptial, but he replied not.

I lie down early, but I couldn't sleep tight due to 'init at alinsangan' and mosquitoes, not to mention the noises. 

July 31, 2007

I never had a tight sleep, but I thought I have completed six hours of sleep. As a matter of fact, I have had a dream.

Though, I was lack of sleep, I never felt drowsiness, while working. I enjoyed the morning. It was afternoon when I felt it. In fact, I have fallen asleep at 3 PM, after break time. I just consoled my sleepiness by kidding Rachie. All of us kid her.

Before seven, Jano, Divina and Romeo texted me. Jano said, "Tol apply ka tom d2, Jenny's Pasig, 350 sahod, 5mos contract! My backer!" Daba sent quotes. Romeo was asking for 'pasaload'. He also kids me. I replied to them, especially to Jano. I was interested in finding a high-paying job. I later gave up texting to Romeo, though we had a nice topic, while Daba said that her so busy. I thanked her for she has found a time to regard me.

I have learned from Romeo that he has a seven-year old child, who's in Mindoro right now. He said that he has no communication with his 'mag-ina'. I don't know if it's true that he was just raped by the girl, when he's drunk. I advised him to look for his child and stop being a homosexual. I hoped he listened to me.

I owed P200 to Joy, for my 'lakad' tomorrow.

"Lord God, Thank You for the opportunity! You're so kind, my God! I hope I could make it tomorrow. So, please help me. Help me win the job. I have to win it for my 'mag-iina'. I wanted to give them the best life I could offer them. Thank you very much! Amen."

I slept early at 9 PM, after Jano phoned me to tell me how to ride to Rosario, Pasig."