MAY, 2006

May 1, 2006

 

           I got up early even though I’ve had a disturbed night. I helped Mama in fixing the water supplied by the truck and proceed in cashew collection.

 

           I directed Mama to sell the seeds so I could go to Rancho. But when I was about to leave my belt was not in my pants. I suspected Flor. Thus, I postponed my plan of visiting my li’l baby.

 

           Today is “Labor Day”. Yet, I continue my job. I must. I need to buy Baby Marge even the smallest carton of Alactamil and 4s of diapers.

         

           I anticipated for ‘agua de mayo’, however the heat was still terrible. So, I set up the foam outside and under the mango tree and slept there. I got up at 2 and took in my very late lunch. Diana Go was present. I knew exactly what she’s into.

 

          Five, Tai-Jen, Yoshimi and I left Bautista. I have P120 bills for Hanna’s basic needs and for my back fare tomorrow morning because Mama wanted me to go home early.

 

           Six when I arrived in Rancho. I saw their smiling faces. I kissed Hanna lovingly. I missed her so much. Mj announced the development of our angel. Two teeth were starting to grow in her upper gums.

 

          “Lord God, thank you for the blessings. Financial. Health. Happiness. Thank you for this opportunity and thank you for Cadcad living was being realized slowly. I hope, Oh Lord that it will take place this week. Bless us continually, God especially Tita Lo, who’s about to give birth to a baby girl on May 4 through a Caesarian section. Help her and forgive our sins. Amen!”

 

 

May 2, 2006

 

           Past nine when I left Espinosa’s home. But before that, I waited Mj to finish her usual chores. Then, she asked Nanay to give me an additional P7 for my fare. I also attended Marge while her mother was in the kitchen.

 

          Nanay knew that I was going home for cashew. I’m proud of it. At least, they would not judge me as indolent.

 

          Past 10 when I arrived here. Mama had already collected seeds through the effort of Flor. However, she asked for advance payment for it to enable to give the money to Diana, who was in need. “I’m sorry, Lord for being stingy to her. I pity her, indeed, and understand their situation. Better yet, bless them, Oh Lord. Amen!”

 

           I then went down in a jiffy to gather seeds. I wanted to earn money so that when we start living in Cadcad, we will have a starting budget.

 

           Rodea and I met at the ‘kasuyan’. According to her, she wanted to earn for soft drink. We have a long, serious talk after I helped her in filling her basket. We tackled everything about my downfalls, my earned criticisms from Auntie Vangie regarding with my education, my plans, and dreams. My emotions and many more. I have also learned truth of life from her. I told her then as a response to Auntie’s criticism, that having a wife of family doesn’t necessarily mean defeat.

 

           I wanted to talk to her for much longer time, but we must par ways. It was so hot under the cashew tree, and I felt hunger already. But I guess, she understands me now.

 

           I was so tired in today’s hardships. Yet, life is really satisfying and fun, life is not that easy, but it gives happiness, fulfilment, and satisfaction, somehow.

 

           I clicked off the TV set at 10 and prayed to God.

 

 

 

May 3, 2006

 

          One-thirty AM when I got up to pee. I’ve found out that Jano did not go home so I clicked off the light and went back to sleep. Then, three, Mama called me. I could still remember my best dream I dreamt when I rose up to help her. She was attacked again by her high-blood pressure. I pity her. I made her a cup of coffee with milk to at least enable her to help in vomiting.

 

          Six, I woke up to do cashew collection again. Mama was still in bad condition. However, after my routine, I saw her doing domestic chores. Although, she was still unwell. But thanks God. She could now stand and walk around. In fact, she went to Tito Sam’s house for a certain reason.

 

          We talked about Tito Sam’s boastfulness and its proofs. Mama then made me understand why she had to tell a white lie that I was going to Rancho today. Then, she closed the doors and told me to hide myself, so I did. However, when I couldn’t bear the terrible warmth inside, I went out and lied down on the bench. He saw me. I don’t care! But before that Eunice Diokno arrived. It doesn’t scare me. I ready myself, instead.

 

          Six, after my usual activity under the cashew trees, I helped Mama in financing and budgeting. We both know how hard cashew collection was, yet we also both know how helpful it was to our daily consumption. I wasn’t complaining. I’m happy doing it, really. I just want to reduce Mama’s burden and Jano’s worry and problems.

 

          “Lord God, thank you for healing Mama, for making me safe always, for the foods and for all the immeasurable blessings. Bless us always. And please help Tita Lo in her giving-birth morrow. Amen!”

 

 

May 4, 2006

 

          As usual... early to rise because I was early to bed. I must do this so that we could pay our debts in two stores. I could also feel the burden carrying by Mama. I wanted to carry her cross even in a few times. As well as I wanted to help Jano in expenses. I knew he would be glad if we do not ask money from him even only during cashew season.

 

          And, as usual, the summer heat was tremendous. I set myself to sleep but I couldn’t. Thus, I collect seeds instead. There, I did everything I can just to gather at least one ‘salop’ which is worth P60.

 

           One hour after, Tito Ben came down to confront Ken there. I warned him about the latter’s bolo. Yet he went on. He came back after a few minutes – safe and sound and drunk still. In fact, I was laidback about them. Who cares? Yet, I wanted them to have a confrontation.

 

          This night was an irksome night. It started when Mama declined to buy me ice. My night was ruined by that. I don’t know why. I kept quiet instead.

 

           “OH, Lord, pardon me. I knew I have no right to feel this way. I did it because I’m weak and sensitive. Oh, God, please give the ‘coming true of Jano’s dream’. Please, make him regular to his company. It would also benefit us. Thanks! Amen!”

 

          Today, Tita Lo has surely undergone Caesarian section. I knew she would be safe, so as her baby girl.

 

          Tomorrow, Ka Sonny should come up here and fetch me. I’m so excited ‘na’ to live in our new dwellings. In fact, Mama gave me P100 tonight for our budget there.

 

 

 

May 5, 2006

 

          Six AM, Mama woke me up. I wanted to sleep again but I had to rise because of my obligation. So, I did. Enthusiastically! She served me a cup of coffee. The last night’s ill-feeling was gone.

 

          Down there, I have had already gathered one ‘salop’ when Flor Rhina arrived to help me. She took over the climbing. Thus, we have had collected more than three, all in all that morning. Eight-thirty when I went up to rest and to have breakfast.

 

          I started to wait for Ka Sonny. I reckon, he’s going to fetch me here. However, I did not expect much because I knew he was too busy in taking care of Tita Lo, who has just given birth yesterday.

 

          We sold our seeds. Mama gave me P100. She bought milkfish, which would give us strength. I should say, gathering seeds was so helpful to every one of us. It gives us financial freedom, although it is just ephemeral. Somehow, it would alleviate our poverty. That was why, I don’t want to miss even a single seed of cashew. I also don’t want somebody to enter in our territory. We just want to yield mam’s hardships. And I was so thankful that God continuously blesses me with strength and stamina. He made me safe from fall. He also nourishes the cashew tree. God is really great!

 

 

May 6, 2006

 

           I woke in wee time. Usual things are boring. However, if it gives monetary advantage, it would be interesting, not to mention the scratches, foreign matters intrusions and wounds, you will get at the end of the day.

 

          Jano gave P400 for groceries. I did the job, yet I gave my P220 to be added to our budget. We also paid P170 to Ate Grace, the store owner, for our debts. My savings were gone. But it’s OK. At least I have taken away Mama’s worries.

 

           Collection of cashew seeds was being done 3x or more a day, and we could gather 3 or more ‘salops’.

 

           I prayed to our Lord for the expedite moving-in in Cadcad residence.

 

 

May 7, 2006

 

          When I got up at 6, I saw Mama downhill, so I followed her. She could now do whatever she wants. “Thank you, Lord, for healing her!” We gathered seed till past 8.

 

          Nine, I prepared the “langka and niyog’. Then, I watched TV till past 11. Bad trip! Jano did not like what I was watching. Thus, I went down the hill to help Mama in collecting seeds.

 

          Four when I went up. Past five when I took a bath. I was tired yet jolly. I just missed Hanna Margaret. And I wanted to move in our supposed home. I was consoling merely myself that they might fetch me here tomorrow.

 

          Seven, the buyer came here to buy our collected seeds. It was eight ‘salops’. We earned P450 from them, which is P15 per ‘salop’. Mama paid me the P220. I haven’t had a share yet.

 

          Eleven, I prayed for the early moving-in in Cadcad.

 

 

May 8, 2006

 

           Six, I took a light breakfast. Then, I proceeded to seed collection. Eight-forty-five, I went up, thinking to the possibility of Calove’s coming. He might come today. I’m so anxious to start our new life there.

 

          I waited till 10:30. It disappointed me. Thus, I went down the hill. Collection of seeds was helpful, indeed, for it takes me away from the thought of moving-in-early and it lessens my anxiety.

 

          Three when I went up--- after the rituals in the cashew trees. The thought of Cadcad was absolutely gone, maybe it was due to a movie we were watching on the TV.

 

          Four, unexpected dropping-by of Calove from Cadcad happened. He directed me to go there. I would sleep over and guard his property--- handing me down P100 as my fare. I showed him my willingness and braveness.

 

           I took a bath, after they left, in a hurry. I was so excited. If only Mj was there. Mama and I were so glad and thankful. This is it! This is the fruit of my very long anticipation, I thought.

 

            Five, I have packed my stuffs—food, personal things, beddings, and Rojano’s VCD player and MP3’s. I left immediately. Mama blessed me. I knew she would pray to God for my safety. I knew too that I am safe there, not to mention the bolo I brought. I could handle myself.

 

           Here in our dwellings (a cottage-like house), I checked first the house, the CR and the motored well, then I picked out clutters such as plastics and I used the well in watering the replanted trees, which were already watered.

 

           It’s getting dark. I swept the dust inside. I’ve never felt any nervousness and fear. God is with me always!

 

          While I was letting myself feel the ambience, I do sound-tripping with a pack of Piatos and a bottle of RC cola. It was an exciting new experience!

 

          After 15 tracks of MP3, I felt coldness. It was different from other cold weather I’ve experienced. Thus, I went inside.

 

           I’ve never had a good night sleep. Maybe because I was undergoing the so-called ‘pamamahay’ in local tongue. Another was the quixotic red ants around. They bit me and put me to unsteadiness and insomniac, not to mention the few mosquitoes. Yet, I have conquered my fear, and I safeguarded the motor tank outside.

 

            I thanked God for this blessing.

 

 

May 9, 2006

 

          Since I had no sleep, I got up after the few minutes of chickens’ waking up. I think it was 4 or 5.

 

           I bought first bread for breakfast then proceeded in watering the plants. It made the job easier because of electric water pump.

 

           Then, I beautify the front yard. I reckon, Calove can appreciate it. It also made our cottage obvious to the passers-by.

 

          Ten, I had my snack. Few minutes later, two women and one young man arrived to do some finishing, repairs, and varnishing.

 

           I left to eat in Bautista at about 12 PM. There, I prepared again to leave.

 

          Three, I went back here. I brought a pot of rice, one red egg, mangoes, bolos, etc.

 

          Four, Calove arrived with my in-laws, Flor, my mag-ina and our stuffs. It was the sign that I, Mj and Hanna were moving-in today. It gladdens me deep inside.

  

          I still pursue my job.

 

         Mj directed me to buy Hanna’s milk and diaper and our basic needs here with the P1000, Ka Sonny gave her. At least, we could start our lives here with bright, bounty future.

 

          It was dark when they left. That was the time we put our clutters in order.

 

          We’re still incomplete yet we could start our lives here tomorrow. I just wish the TV promised to us by Calove would be brought morrow so we could enjoy our stays here.

 

          “Oh, Lord, thank you very much. You surprised me much. You’re so great. I praise you, God. Please bless our lives here. Make everything fine. Forgive our sins. Amen!”

 

 

May 10, 2006

 

           Last night was my second night here. Yet, I have had still an insomniac night. Mj, in fact, also suffered from the so-called ‘pamamahay’. We indeed do sound-tripping so we could fall asleep. It didn’t help.

 

          Six, I started my newly-dis routines---- watering and then ‘whatever’.

 

          Seven, we ate our breakfast.

 

           Eight to nine, I spent them in cleaning the front and uprooting the ‘cogon’ and ‘talahib’ weeds.

 

           Ten, Mj and I were already bathed, using the water in the well, that we suspected to give us itchiness and allergies. Thanks God, we haven’t!

 

           Few minutes later, Espinosas arrived. Flor was with them. She handed me down the following: onions, boiled eggs, jar of pasta and raw gelatin. I knew Mama gave it to me.

 

          Thanks, God for they brought foods. Our lunch today would be for free.

 

          The house has been crowded by our visitors. The terrible heat accelerated.

 

           While they were doing their projects, I did mine. I washed Hanna’s crib—they brought, and I DIY the defective table. It became a ‘lababo’ for a temporal usage.

 

           Past four when they left.

 

           I pursue what I was doing before their departure. I burnt the clutters. I fetched water, not to mention watering. I also started landscaping with the boulders and rocks.

 

           Mj and I had a misunderstanding. I wanted her to realize that she must be lowered voice always whether she’s tired or not. I was more righteous to get and to fret of to get angry because I was the most tired one—between her and me. Thus, she must not be like that as if attending our daughter is very laborious job than my job.

 

           Sleeping time.  I slept outside (in the sala) not because Mj and I have had a slight fight but because I wanted it to give a try. I have to sleep deeply and tightly, and it would be satisfied outside.

 

            I praised God for all of these.

 

 

May 11, 2006

 

            This is our second morning. We’re as if, at home. It’s nice to have a private life! I could practice my fatherhood and being a husband.

 

            After watering the plants, I planted my seedlings (sunflower, squash, papaya, and bell pepper).

 

           Ten, I started preparing our lunch. I cooked tilapia escabeche. We’ve eaten a lot. Hanna Margaret, too!

 

            Past 12, we took a siesta for the first time. I could say that afternoon is not that hot, as they said. I realized that we’re just over-crowded yesterday, thus we didn’t enjoy the noontime.

 

           Four, after waiting to the sunset, I started to do in the field. I have planted malunggay seeds and string beans seeds. I haven’t finished watering the plants due to the approaching rain.

 

           MJ was so concerned about me. She was condemning my overly hardworking in an inappropriate time such as making bamboo venetian blind in the dark. Yet, I didn’t pursue it.

 

           Eight, we’re in the sala. We wished TV was here. The TV-less state bores us.

 

           “Lord God, I praise your name. You’re so kind. Thank you for everything. You settled our lives here. Please continue showering us with your glorious love. Make us merrier here. So as, make our lives more successful. Forgive us, as well as our judgmental foes. They don’t know what they are saying. Amen!”

 

 

May 12, 2006

 

          I had a semi-tight sleep inside, last night. Although it rains at 11:30. It didn’t bother me. But I checked first the entire room if there’s a leak. Thanks, God there’s none!

 

          Seven, I prepared myself in marketing Hanna’s basic needs and our foods.

 

          Past eight, I arrived in Bautista with the groceries. Mama wasn’t there. She’s in Nova. She was invited by Lola Alice to cook for her birthday. But Flor was there.

 

          There, I packed and prepared my stuffs to be brought in Cadcad. I also put some in the mini drawer to be fetched by them.

 

           Past nine, I was already here. I told Mj that our money on hand was only P305.

 

           Then, I cooked our lunch. I also made Mj’s favorite ---rice cake or chocolate rice.

 

           The rain continued. In fact, I had to hang my work like tilling the ground when the rain fell. Yet, I have done few jobs today such as planting ‘sigarilyas’ and yellow tops, preparing venetian blinds and making bamboo ladle.

 

 

           Eleven-thirty, electric current was interrupted. It was our first brown-out encounter here. Good thing, I’ve brought one medium-sized candle from our house. 

 

 

 

 

May 13, 2006

 

         The morning has been so cold due to overnight rain and terrible wind. Mj guessed there's a LPA in the country. She was also afraid of our state and wanted to evacuate.

 

         Ten, I have had a "bad trip" day due to terrible wind. I couldn't put the charcoal on fire or in flame. My matches run out, so I had to buy for a lighter, in the middle of the rain with a disassembled umbrella. However, despite of these shortcomings, I have cooked a deliciously mouth-watering beef macaroni soup. in fact, Marge liked it.

 

         Past eleven, Espinosa Family arrived. it was an unexpected visit. Tatay suggested what to do the 'pahulog' in front of the house. We did it i a jiffy. Thus, we could move freely downstairs.

 

          I was so thankful for their visit that we're blessed always. They fetched the sack of coal, monobloc table and so n in Bautista, prepared by Mama. Then, we had drinking water or potable water, not to mention their left-over foods.

 

         Arturo has been here too. He gave P100 for Margaret's diaper. He's so gallant, indeed! Yet, I didn't like him when he's drunk.

 

         When they' re about to go home, Tito Jun's car was stuck up in the muddy one-way street very near to our nipa hut. So, we exerted so much force in pulling and lifting the auto. We're all muddy when we made it. Thanks for the help of our neighbors especially a man in the piggery.

 

          Ernie Balsamo, the ex-co-worker of Taiwan and Jano in Comelec, was also here a while ago. He's a good person, I could see it.

 

          "Lord God, thank you for this rainy day. Thank you for all the happenings. I knew these were parts of your plans, including the joking of Tita Lo in her text about our allowance here. It doesn't scare me. Lord, please stop the rain and put the LPA Caloy in other more sinful place. And please give us more pleasures here. I couldn't, as well, forget my promise of going to a church for a fellowship. Just give me time. Forgive our sins. Amen!"

 

 

May 14, 2006

 

          Morning breeze was still cold, yet the sun started to show off.

 

          We had a bountiful breakfast. Thus, I worked after in the field. i planted 'cacaote' branches. I dug a shallow hole for trashes. I also did some ground tilling or grass plucking in front of the house.

 

           We're on the water crisis today due to the stoppage of water flow in the well. It happened yesterday. Thus, I had to fetch from our neighbor's well, which is very far from us.

 

           I expected for a visit of Flor Rhina or Calove, but no one arrived. Anyways, we still have money-- which was supposed to be my money not from the P1000 given by Ka Sonny.

 

          Today, my back ached. I wanted to do more field works but I couldn't. However, before six, i gathered all dumps and put them in one place. I disregarded the pain I was feeling just to expedite the development and changes in this land.

 

          We're celebrating Mothers' Day today. In fact, I made a note greeting Mj a Happy Mothers' Day. I also planned to buy cards for Mama and Nanay, but I had no chance to go to Gate 2. Never mind! I've got a lot of time. The most important thing happened today was I have gladdened Mj. It was her first Mothers' Day moment, indeed!

 

           "Oh, God, thank you for this day. Thank you for the strength, happiness, and love. Thank you for the immeasurable blessings. I ask from you again, oh, God, the same thing, the same needs and wants. I pray Oh Lord for our success here. Make our relationships with Calove fine or much better. I'm sorry, Lord. Amen!"

 

 

 

May 15, 2006

 

          Five-thirty-two, Hanna woke me up. She smiled at me; thus we got up and went outside. Then, I could see the wonderful sunshine.

 

          I planted my 'katuray' seeds. I also visited my planted seeds. String beans were the first to sprout. It gladdened me.

 

          Ten, when I was about to cook mongo, the nearest store did not sell pork chicharon, thus I cooked it only in a pork cube. However, it turned out yummy and tasty.

 

          I fetched water 'over there' twice this day. I had to be patient, industrious and understanding.

 

          I've done a lot today. For sure, no one would ever say that I'm lazy.

 

          "God, thank you for everything you gave us today. Give us our needs again tomorrow. I know you knew beforehand what we need, so we don't need to say it all over again. Oh, Lord, make us strong. I want to stay here as long as Calove wants to. Use them for my and our family's success in life. Oh, God, forgive me for I robbed the three palm tree seedlings of our neighbor. And forgive me and Mj for we always had immature clashes, so as, the entire world's sins. Amen!"

 

 

May 16, 2006

 

          I had a bad night last night. I was pestered by mosquitoes and other insects. I reckon it was one AM, when I fell asleep. Yet, I got up early at 6 to start a new day. In fact, it was my first week here. Our first week!

 

          I planted ‘cacaote’ branches that will serve as fence in the future. I also found out that the squash was already sprouting.

 

          Nine, Mang Nestor and company restart the well. Past nine, Tiyo Ruben arrived to check what was happening. I have had a small worry about the decision of Mang Nestor to take out all 14 pipes underneath.

 

          Twelve, the well was already done. I could see the changes. Job well done! However, it scared me when Mang Nestor asked for P5,300 payment.

 

          I watered the plants immediately.

 

          Four, I cooked fresh tomato pasta in hotdog. It’s yummy! I was sure Flor and Mj liked it. It was supposed to be cooked tomorrow on Hanna’s 10^th month, but she would be leaving for the last vaccination in ‘bayan’.

 

          Flor came at 11, with some food. It was such a blessing for us.

 

 

          “Lord God, thank you for the strength that I could do more hard and laborious works and for contentment that I was not looking and wanting for more, thank you, we already have water (in the well). Thank you for safety and security. Bless us continually. Lord, I hope Ka Sonny would not get angry to the amount Mang Nestor was asking. Protect Mj and Hannas’ trip tomorrow. Expedite the clearing of our well, Oh God. And please heal my swollen chin. I look like ‘Babalu’ already. It was two days already. It affects me, Lord. So as Hanna’s eye. Stop the ‘pagmumuta’ of her right eye. Forgive us for we’ve sinned. Amen!”

 

 

 

May 17, 2006

 

          Today is Hanna Margaret's 10th month birthday. She, in fact, woke up early and she was the one who made me get up despite of morning cool breeze and sleepiness. I greeted her and she smiled back.

 

          Seven, Mj, Hobee and Flor left. My 'mag-ina' are going to a health clinic in 'bayan' for our baby's very important and last vaccination. It did not make me sad. Indeed, it gladdens me that I could be free here for at least 24 hours or more.

 

          I told Mj that I was not going to work today, yet I did. I could now permit myself to sit down and see merely my obligations. Good thing, it rained last night, thus I don't have to water the plants.

 

          I visited my squashes. Seeing them growing healthy delighted me.

 

          I then planted carabao grasses in front. This was a part of my landscaping plan.

 

          Eleven, after I have rested for an hour, Calove and Tiyo Ruben arrived. Thanks God. The first did not blame me. Indeed, he interrogated me about things here in his property. He also told me not to permit 'kabayan' if he will ask for water.

 

          They did not stay for long here. Before 12, they're gone. Mang Nestor came after 5 minutes. He's quite annoyed. I could see myself to him. I, too was not given an allowance.

 

          I did a siesta. Yet, I don't know if I had fallen asleep or not.

 

          Three to six, I was out ---- working. I also planned my agenda tomorrow.

 

          This past 5, Mang Mario gave me again a ripe guyabano. Hes' so kind. I then looked forward to giving him too whatever in abundance here.

 

          "Lord Jesus, thank you for the entire blessings. You're truly great! Praise Your name, Oh, God... God, please bless Calove and use him to bless us here. I want to have a kitchen here. Please provide this for us, Lord. Protect my 'mag-ina' in their trip tomorrow. Bless also my family, my relatives, and my friends. Forgive our sins, in Jesus' name, Amen!"

 

 

 

May 18, 2006

 

          I reckon I have had a very nice night last night, for I could still remember two separate dreams. Maybe it was due to the mosquito net.

 

          However, that was not a reason to dilly-dally. I still got up early at 6. At that moment I could feel terrible backache, not to mention the 4-day swollen chin.

 

          Thus, I worked a bit and took a rest after. Good thing, the rain fell last night so I don't have to water the plants.

 

          Nine, I began resting while waiting for my 'mag-ina' or Calove or Espinosa Family.

 

          Eleven, I bought bread and RC cola for my lunch. I think I could not afford to have a regular lunch ---in three reasons. One, I could not move up and down my chin as easy as before. Two, we're waterless. Three, I was just lazy to cook and to eat alone.

 

          Two, I took a bath.

 

          Three plus, I watered the plants.

 

           Four, I have had a snack. I then prepared my dinner (fried dilis and egg).

 

           Five, I burned the dried clutters.

 

           Six, I rested and started missing out my daughter.

 

           My plan of going to Bautista was not taken place due to Mj's absence. I could not leave here unattended.

 

           "Lord God, put your name on high! Thank you for the blessings of air, water, land, and fire. Thank you for the gift of life. I knew these sicknesses we're feeling are merely makeshift. You just want us to learn from them. Oh, God, please give Calove a nice mood, good thinking, and kind heart. Please, protect my loved ones from accidents, illnesses, or calamities. Forgive us for we've sinned (again) In Jesus' name, Amen!"

 

 

 

May 19, 2006

 

          I rose up at six because I wanted to do more. They were coming unexpectedly.

 

          Seven, I started field works, despite of my painful, swollen chin.

 

          Ten, I thought of my lunch. I bought 5 pieces of cheap hotdogs--- which were in fact, thrifty.

 

          Eleven-thirty, I had a bath before my lunch.

 

          Past twelve, I already was resting. I couldn't sleep due to the pests-- flies.

 

          In between one and three, I was thinking of a reason why my chin swells. It was not due to my lower teeth, that it might ache too. A flashback happened. I remembered that I was accidentally hit by a cyclone wire, one afternoon. I was about to close the gate that time. Today, this swollen chin was now 5 days old. I was afraid it will be turned into a tumor or something like that. I have seen it on TV.

 

          "Lord God. Praise Your name! I knew you're the greatest healer of all doctors. Please, heal me. I want to move the way I was before... Oh, God, please."

 

          Tonight is the third night my 'mag-ina' was not around. I wonder what was happening why Mj stayed there for three consecutive days. I suspect she's waiting for our budget.

 

          I only have P11 on my wallet. If they do not come tomorrow, I will go home to Bautista. Mineral water was no more, too. What would happen to me here?

 

          Ten PM, I could feel the terrible pain due by my swollen chin. This was disgusting! I couldn't sleep well.

 

 

 

May 20, 2006

 

          Six-forty when I got up. I already knew what the things are to do, in order.

 

          Nine, I already finished my works such as waterworks and field works. My back was still aching.

 

          Ten, I took a bath and prepared myself in leaving away the house. I have no water to drink anymore, so as viand to eat.

 

          Eleven, I was waiting for three supposed-to-be passengers at the terminal. Few minutes later, Mj and Hanna with their family arrived. My stowing-away was saved by the bell!

 

          Here, they cooked adobo for our lunch and macaroni soup for our merienda. Life is really good in here every time they visit.

 

          I have learned from Mj that Tita Lo and Ka Sonny declined to give us another amount. According to the former, the P1000 they gave us was good for a month. My partner was so upset to this matter. Yet, I am still partly in disbelief. I knew Ka Sonny is a good person who knows the lives of others.

 

          I told Mj that I reckon were not supposed to stay here for long, But that's a part of my ephemeral grievance against them. I still want to live here if they wanted to. In fact, I was almost adjusted in a very short time. I have gotten new 'amigos' here such as 'Kabayan' or Mang Tony; Mang Mario-- the owner of guyabano plantation in front; the anonymous owner of cock farm, who, one time, asked me if he could park his Pajero inside our premise; and the newest one--Allan. He's a laborer in a neighboring piggery.

 

          These phenomena would be considered achievements. Imagine, they all approached me.

 

 

 

May 21, 2006

 

          I had a worst night ever, last night. My swollen chin was severely aching. It made me sleepless and uneasy. Thus, I got up at 6:48. Thanks, God, morning dew helped me in watering the plants, so as the drizzle.

 

          Calove was expected to come today, but he didn't.

 

          Our ginataan was waiting for diners. It would be spoiled tomorrow. Alas!

 

          My chin was not getting any better. I had already taken amoxicillin, twice this day. Yet, it was still so painful. I could not neglect the pain, whatever I was doing.

 

          "Lord God, exalt Your name on high. You're so great and faithful. You're true to your promises. Let me understand why when I asked You for good health, you gave me sickness and when I wished You for mediocre wealth, You gave me property. Please, Oh, Lord. I knew You have a plan but let me know why. Heal me. I want to do so much thing in this place ---a place You gave, a place you bestow us... Forgive me for I didn't trust You. Forgive us. Forgive Calove. Forgive the whole world. Amen!"

 

 

 

 

May 22, 2006

 

          Last night was the most terrible night in my three past-nights-sufferings from tremendous pain. I almost cried in pain. I couldn't sleep well.

 

          Six-forty, we got up. I think I'm okay and I can do more things. So, after breakfast, I started my routine--- watering the plants and tilling the ground.

 

          Past nine, when I was taking a rest, Caloves and Tiyo Ruben-and-kids arrived. They were with 'pananim'. Ka Sonny gave us P1000 and made us understand that we would be receiving from him only P2000 monthly. It saddened and frustrated me. What will happen to our lives here with P2000 per month? I wanted to decline from being a caretaker, but I wanted a private and separate life with my 'mag-ina' I reckon our 'suweldo' will change when time comes. Then, my frustration, sadness and annoyance were gone.

 

         Eleven-thirty, I came with them. They would give me a chance to have dental check-up, for the first time.

 

        One-thirty, I was already in a scary dental clinic, sitting in a horrible dental chair, in front of Tiyo Ruben, Ka Sonny and Tita Lo. It was the most embarrassing moment in my life, so far. Imagine, the dentist directed to open widely my mouth, while there were audiences.

 

        Two, I had already taken two capsules as prescribed. They paid P315 in all for my five days medication. I was just afraid that if it will not be cured by the prescribed drugs, I would be given another medicine which is more expensive and I might be hospitalized (if the swelling goes acute). It scared me . I'm afraid of hospitals, clinic or the like.

 

        I thanked Calove when he dropped at the market. That thank was for the caring heart and gallantry.

 

       Three, I was marketing at Super Palengke. I was looking for Darcy but she's not there anymore.

 

       Four, I was marketing in Cogeo. I was spending merely the P100 given to me by Calove for my fare, it because I wanted to wisely budget the money. I kept already the P500 bill.

 

       At least, I have bought the most important item of all ---Hanna's formula milk, not to mention the diapers.

 

       Five, I was in Bautista. I dropped by there to get water and to ask for 'halaman' to Mama. However, I have had also ripe saba bananas and a can of corned beef and wafers for Marge.

 

       Six, I was already home. I then watered the 'gulays' and planted the 'halamans'.

 

       Eight when we had our dinner.

 

       Then, I realized that I must be thankful for what we have now, for what we were receiving. I must do the best I can without worry of starvation and God will do the rest.

 

       "Thank You, Lord for this realization! Thank You as well for healing me. I could now feel the healing process. Thank You for You are our God!"

     

 

 

May 23, 2006

 

           Though, we had a semi-bad night last night, I never felt lack-of-sleep syndrome. I happily got up to prepare our healthy breakfast which was rice-and-fried-daing-na-bangus.

 

           Since I had planned already the going-to-Bautista, Mj and I did alternate works. I did mine. She did hers.

 

          Eleven, I had already cooked our lunch which was 'escabeche de milkfish', when my in-laws arrived. According to them, Lola told them to do so because they're worried that I'm not taking my medicated capsules. Wow! How caring and thoughtful they were?!

 

          Two, I was dropped by their car in Bautista.

 

          Three, I was going home together with Flor. We're carrying home the radio, six tumblers, two used dolls, plants, and apparels.

 

          Then, I did a finishing varnish work. It made me dirty, and it tired me. So, I had to take a bath--- a night bath with hot water.

 

          All in all, I have accomplished so much today. I had cultivated three trees this day. I had also planted oregano and two varieties of plants. Tomorrow, Calove might come. I hope he would be glad to see these changes and improvements.

 

          "Lord God, exalt Your name on high. Praise Your holy name. Thank You for this wonderful day, though it was tiring and hard. Yet, it gladdens me. Lord Jesus, bless us always. Please, give us some life improvements tomorrow or on the next day. Pardon me for what I did wrong to Your will. Amen!"

 

 

 

May 24, 2006

 

           Seven, after taking in my belated amoxicillin, I got out Hanna from the mosquito net and we waited for Mj to wake up.

 

           Eight when I started to work at the field.

 

           Mj found out that she has a period. She was disappointed. However, it made me happy. I thanked God, indeed. I told her that I also want a baby boy-- who is destined to be as Sean Kinley, but I don't want him to come out this year or this state of our life.

 

           Lunch time, Mj complained about the 4th time meal--- 'bangus. I said that we must take the reality of life of a poor like us. We have no ref, so we have no choice but to cook a dish in moderation or in repetition.

 

           Two, after taking a bath and eating my lunch, I rested. I didn't know if I have fallen asleep or not.

 

           Three, I got up and started field works. I have cultivated three trees. I also watered the plants.

 

           Quarter to five when Mj woke up. I told her to make me a coffee because I was so hungry.

 

           Five, I started food preparation. We would sip a hot macaroni soup tonight.

 

           Six, I gave Hanna Margaret a concoction of oregano for her cough. She liked it. Indeed, I did not even put anything (like sugar) in there. Nice girl!

 

           I've learned today from DZMM that we must only eat 3 to 4 eggs a week. More than that is bad.

 

           "Lord God, You're so great! Thank You for Your infinite and unconditional love. Thank You for healing my sickness especially my swollen jaw and backache. Thank You for Baby Marge's smartness and good appetite. Bless her always, so as her mother. Make MJ a better mom. God, strengthen me always so that I could do more and anything productive here in our new home. Please, give us television set, electric fan, refrigerator, and kitchen area. All of these will make our lives comfortable and easy. Pardon, Oh, Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen!"

 

 

 

May 25, 2006

 

          Quarter to six, I was already wide awake. But six I got up to cook sweetened cassava. I then started doing things such as reconstructing the doghouse' roofs, cleaning the front yard, etc.

 

          Nine-thirty-five, I was finished in my usual field works.

 

          Ten, I cooked corned beef and dilis-mongo guisado.

 

          Eleven, I attended Hanna because Mj was scheduled to wash clothes and blankets.

 

          Past one when I took my lunch, then, back to Hanna. She's been 'pasaway'. Almost two when she fell asleep.

 

          Three, I started field works again. I have had planted mongo seeds in two plots, and I had cultivated one tree.

 

          Past five, I cooked rice while burning the dried weeds in front.

 

          Life here is difficult and hard. Yet I was starting to feel at home.

 

         "Lord God, exalt Your name! Thank You for giving this opportunity to us. It changed our lives. Please, bless us always. I wanted to stay here for long. God, where are my requests? Please give it soon to me. Forgive me, my partner and everyone, who are sinners. In Jesus' name, Amen!"

 

 

 

May 26, 2006

 

         Six-forty, I got up. It was late waking-up for an early riser like me. I, then cooked fried saba in a jiffy yet we have had a breakfast very late.

 

         Mj has annoyed me today. She called me out for some help in taking-a-bath Hanna. I said, "Wait!" I just wanted to finish what I was doing; however, she went on expediting me. As a result, she did it all by herself.

 

         Ten, I took a rest from cultivating the trees and watering the plants. I let Mj to do her part. I attended Hanna.

 

         Eleven, I cooked rice. Mj and I still were not talking to each other.

 

         Past twelve, I tried to sleep despite of terrible heat and Hanna's playing in the room. Mj approached me.

 

         Two-twenty, I got up to boil bananas for our merienda.

 

         Three-thirty, the sun hid. So, I took the opportunity to water the plants.

 

         Before six, I have accomplished so many things.

 

         "Lord God, You're the greatest Lord of all lords. Thank You for this life, happiness, good health, and contentment. Please give us our daily bread and keep us away from harm, problems, and sicknesses. Forgive us. Amen!"

 

 

 

 

May 27, 2006

 

          Minutes before seven, I got up. Maybe, it's because of stomachache that bothers me last night. I then immediately started making fire to boil water. However, the lighter has been so mean. It gave up. It annoys me. Thus, when Mj sought help from me to take away the frog inside the CR, I got angry and it irks her too.

 

          Nine, I already had cultivated a mango tree and watered the plants. I attended Hanna, letting Mj to do her chores. We're still on war.

 

          Ten, I cooked rice and fried anchovies for our lunch.

 

          Eleven, I prepared the table. Mj smiled. So I did. We're like both children or cat and dog.

 

          Twelve, I left the house to do marketing. We're out of stocks and waterless.

 

          One-thirty, I was already in Bautista. There, I went down the hill to get mangoes.

 

          Four, Flor and I left Bautista with Lassie, a brown puppy girl, water in gallons, groceries, and plants, of course.

 

          Five, I and Flor was already here. I then fried the broken eggs for our snacks. Watering the plants-- I mean selected plants, followed. I could not miss, or I must not miss watering my vegetables. They will be our lives in the very near future.

 

          "Lord God. Exalt Your name. Thank You for the opportunity of making a letter for Mama Leling. At least, they would not say that I'm laid-back to where I came from. Thank You for the groceries. I hope they will give us good health and they will be good for more than a week till June 9. We only have P140 on my wallet and we must budget it for almost 2 weeks. God, help me. I wish my in-laws visit tomorrow so as our boss. Pardon me, Oh, Lord. Amen!"

 

 

 

May 28, 2006

 

           Hanna cried for milk at 5:45 AM. So, I was awakened. I couldn't sleep again. Thus, I cooked 'banana que' (without stick) for our breakfast.

 

           Seven, I started field works. i have cultivated two mango trees. I lastly watered the plants.

 

           Nine, I have filled the water containers. Then, I attended Hanna while Mj was doing her chores.

 

           Ten, I prepared our lunch which was adobo. It was our first time to cook adobo here. I often cook mongo guisado and pastas.

 

           Twelve, Flor left this house. She asked for fare. I was hesitant to give her because we only have P120 on my wallet. Yet, I thought of her laundry effort she made this morning.

 

           One, I wrote questions and answers for Hanna Margaret's upcoming first birthday celebration's game which I called "Hanna Margaret Game Show". I have finished 14 in all.

 

           Three, we have eaten my cooking, I entitled 'Pasta Spirale.' It was yummy compared to my first.

 

           Then, I worked in the field. However, the rain was approaching. I had to stop and fetch water.

 

           Six when we ate our dinner due to blackout possibility.

 

           "Lord God, thank You for Your goodness and kindness. I knew there is purpose for everything. Please, don't let us live here in despair and in crisis. We only want a so-so life. Bless our families and relatives. Protect us from bad elements. Pardon me, Oh, Lord. Amen!"

 

 

 

May 29, 2006

 

           Five, I woke up to free Lassie in the doghouse. She was disturbing our sleeps. Then I slept again.

 

           Six-thirty, I got up to start a wonderful new day. I then cooked fried egg and dilis for our breakfast.

 

           Seven-thirty, I started my usual field works. I have cultivated two trees.

 

           Quarter to nine, I attended Hanna. I have fetched water already. But before it, Flor and her best friend, Mary Jane Antolin arrived to get the former's necktie which she has left yesterday. They leave after a short while.

 

           Ten-thirty, tried to call out our neighbor so that I could ask permission if I could fetch water from their tank. However, I was ashamed to do so. Thus, I cooked our lunch which was "Pasta Spirale' with camote and sausage.

 

           One, I took a rest.

 

           Three, I got up. We have scanty breads and coffee for merienda. After it, I did field works again. I have cultivated five trees.

 

           Five-thirty, I was finished watering the plants. Then, I asked Allan, my "amigo'' in the neighboring piggery, if I could fetch water. e permitted me. I have learned from him that he is a native of Aklan, such like Tita. Then, I cooked our dinner---fried sweetened dilis and sotanghon with Vienna sausage.

 

           Life here in Cadcad, especially here in Calove's property is such like living in squatter area that is located atop a mountain.

 

           "Lord Jesus, we praise You. Thank You for giving us strength, happiness, and good health. Please, give us our daily bread. Please, touch Calove's heart to do the necessary things for us. Please, make him realize what he has promised before we move in here. Forgive him. Forgive me. Amen!"

 

 

 

May 30, 2006

 

          Six-twenty, I woke up and started a fire to fry eggs and cook canton.

 

          Past seven, I did field works. I have cultivated two mango trees.

 

          Nine-twenty, after I have watered the plants and filled the buckets, I attended Hanna so that Mj could wash clothes. I put her to sleep.

 

          Minutes to go before eleven, I was about to buy rice when Calove Family, Lola and Lolo, Tita Ning and Tiyo Ruben Family arrived. It was an unexpected visit.

 

          Ten to two, when they left.

 

          The best thing about their visit was the leftovers such as viands, rice and mineral water. Mj was given P100 by Tita Lo for our rice.

 

          The bad thing was they have not brought the TV. We will still be like fools here.

 

          Four-thirty, I went out for the field working purpose. I came upstairs at seven.

 

          "Lord God, praise Your name. Thank You for the Calove's visit. We're blessed today. Thank You for the appreciation they gave me from the plants and from the changes here, although some of them were implied. God, please give us TV and electric fan tomorrow. Forgive us all for we've sinned. Amen!"

 

 

 

May 31, 2006

 

          Today is the last day of the month. Days passed by so fast.

 

          Waking up early seems so hard. Yet I could not rise late. The thought of living comfortable here in Calove property scares me. I must work to beautify and develop his land, not to mention how much we accept from him. I must not complain to P2000 per month because this is our milking cow. I could now support Hanna in her physiological needs, not to mention Mj and my food intake.

 

           Thus, I was working hard here to at least gain mercy from the owner. This is not a 'pakitang-tao'. This is my real industry. I love planting. I love plants. I love nature. I, in short, love what I'm doing! It is not only because I wanted to beautify the surroundings but also to have products from what I have planted.

 

           All day long, my mind was set in field works and waterworks. I also now closed to my daughter, compared before. Then, I could now practice my cooking ability. In fact, Mj and Marge love my spiral pasta. I often cook.

 

           "Lord God, thank You for the life You given me. Thank You for the stamina, agility and vigor, I could use in my works here. Bless me always with good health, so as my 'mag-ina', my relatives and my family. Bless us financially. Bless Calove Family. Give them kind and understanding hearts. Help me in my business plan. Make it a success. Forgive our sins. Amen!"