My Journal -- September, 2006

September 1, 2006

I got up very early at 5 to do marketing in Gate 2 and to have ID for resume. After having a breakfast, I left at 5:30 AM.

In Gate 2, I saw Bernie, who's waiting, maybe for a jeep to ride. He saw me, too. But I did not come near to him. What for?

And, since I was so early, ID shops were still closed. Thus, I canvass for appliances and homewares' prices at 'Bodega ng Bayan'. I was interested to buy a rice cooker with a brand name of 'Winner'. It costs P450 and it's cute. It increases my eagerness to have a job.

Quarter to nine, I have finished my agenda in Cogeo. I have spent more than P800 today. I've saved the P150 for our Ate Graces' indebtedness. We actually owe P168, but we couldn't afford to pay it in full.

Ten, I dropped by in Bautista to give P150 to Mama. She would do the paying job. I told Mama to lend me money to Jano so that I could start to pass my resume on Monday. I then showed her what I've marketed so that she could let Jano understand that I was moneyless, that I prioritized Hanna's needs so as ours. She agrees, as I expect. She is very understanding. In fact, she gave me a bunch of sting beans—which she owes from a peddler.

I was home already at 10:30 AM. I was greeted by waiting Hanna and Mj.

The invitation for MVM Gonzales Awards for English short story and essay indeed interests me. As a matter of fact, I read some samples of essay. Unfortunately, I don't know what to write because I don't know where to submit my composition, if ever. If only I have a lot of money to buy or subscribe any local magazine. Being penniless is the real cause of my unsuccessful writing career. I must be updated to literary contests –which are being advertised mostly in magazines. My success is dependent on the contest. Who knows?

Prayer Concern, tonight: Successful writing career.

 

September 2, 2006

I woke up late. Thus, we breakfast late. I've had no more time to work in the field due to terrible sun rays. In lieu, I bolo-cut the timbers I've gathered a day before, to be sundried.

Mj wants to go with me tomorrow to Bautista. I was kidding her secretly that I don't want to. But the truth was I preferred her to leave so that she could meet Ka Sonny before he flies abroad. I told her that I'll leave very early morrow. I wasn't sure if Jano would lend me money. He was on a financial crisis to date. I just want to let him think that I'm so eager for the job he referred or to have a job.

However, while listening to 'Business 100', a radio show, my mind has changed. I would leave alone tomorrow, as early as 7.

Prayer Concern, tonight: Blessings.

 

September 3, 2006

Five, I woke up for my planned agendum last night. I, then, cooked Mj's lunch. After I took in my breakfast, I walked through Bautista. Seven, when I arrived there.

Jano was not there. Mama and I talked about the advantages of having a job. I must have a job indeed! She also assures me of her willingness to help us –especially Mj in my absence.

I watched TV. Sunday shows I normally watched entertains and educates me while waiting for either Jano or Taiwan. However, electric current disrupts it, at 11AM. Good thing, my favorite shows were already aired. Thus, I went downhill and climbed mango and 'mirinda' fruits.

Twelve, I was so hungry, although we had a rice-and-misua-with-eggs breakfast. I just found myself eating rice and raw mango dipped in soy sauce and sugar. It somehow eased my hunger.

Jano and Gie arrived at 1PM. Mama and I cooked our very late lunch immediately. It was two PM when we had our 'snunch'—lunch and snacks.

While waiting for the electric current to resume, so as Jano—who was sleeping, I took a nap. When I got up at 3, he was still sleeping. I then think if I would pursue my lending intent or not.

The next thing happened was the decision of postponing the job application till our next salary. I said instead that I was waiting merely for Taiwan to come.

Mama, who knew that we're riceless at home, secretly packed the rice she omitted from their rice box. "Pardon her... oh, Lord."

Jano and Gie came with me to Boso-Boso by the former's motorcycle. It's a blessing! My supposedly fare was saved.

When we arrived home, Mj was in a bad mood. I know she's angry of my late arrival. The two left after a few minutes. I, then, talked and explained the reason of my delay which somehow reduces her irksome. Good thing, she doesn't nag me, yet she's suspiciously quiet.

Before I sleep, I communicate with the Lord. I told him that I lost my eagerness to find a job, due to money-lacking for fare. I asked Him, instead for a capital. I really wanted to put up my own business.

 

September 4, 2006

I got up at seven. then, I prepared our breakfast.

My morning has been so jolly even though we're running out of rice, viands or for short ---stocks!

Eight, I remember the flight of Calove and her daughter tomorrow. I started to anticipate for his visit. He must visit us before he leaves --for the sake of superior-subordinate relationship.

While doing field works and chores, I still could not forget the thought of negligence by our boss. I made a plan, eventually. If ever he fails to do so, I will have a reason to do the exact or same thing he did to us. He would leave for America without even meeting us?! It's not fair!

Exactly eleven AM, no one arrived.

After lunch, instead of hurting myself with a bad thought caused by Calove, I rather busied myself. I renovated our 'squatterly' made makeshift kitchen. Now, it was so cute. We could now see the passer-by and vice versa.

I cooked our dinner early and we eat early.

Our viand was sautéed pechay –which was savored merely by a chicken cube and garlic. Yet, I have made it deliciously yummy.

That's our very first yield of pechay.

Prayer Concern, tonight: Resume of electric current this night.

 

September 5, 2006

We started our morning with a yummy hot macaroni soup. We then did our chores in a jolly mood. Maybe, it was our new look kitchen, which contributed to it. I have had an energy, too., to wash the dusty carpet.

Today is Ka Sonny's scheduled flight to States. I wished he could visit us somehow, so that he could know our condition here. He would be there for at least one year. I hoped also for someone who will fetch us here by his command. i understand the time frame. However, I thought that if it's his will, he will. I finally put a conclusion that he was postponed.

Twelve, I quit from mad anticipation, conclusion and whatever! It's such a craziness! No one would arrive today! I put on under my skull. We're as good as abandoned tenants.

It does not affect me. it merely gladdens me. I have had a reason to leave this property without meeting or talking with him. Look! Is it impossible not to visit us though they're 'ultrasupermega' busy preparing whatsoever stuffs!? He could visit us before September 4. But he did not! It's indeed a question mark. A very big Q.

Afternoon. I was doing field works. I weeded and mulched my plants. I planted ornaments. Most of all, I started landscaping the front yard of the house. It's half-done.

Our dinner was rice-and-eggplant-adobo. The eggplants were not yet in full blooms.

We only have P34,25 in my wallet. Tomorrow, we will buy rice again-- not to mention the viand and breakfast. Hoo! Budgeting is indeed hard, especially if you're budgeting a two-digit money.

Prayer Concern, tonight: Visit of my in-laws.

 

September 6, 2006

I was already wide-awake around six-thirty, yet I dilly-dally in my 'higaan'. I was thinking what the best remedy for our financial crisis today. I was thinking of our breakfast.

Seven when I got up. I was still clueless of what to prepare for breakfast. thus, I consulted Mj. She surprised me when she decided. She would go to 'bayan'.

I then quickly boil water for our coffee and milk --not to mention some other chores.

Eight-thirty, we're walking through 'Kanto ng Boso-Boso", as suggested by Mj. Besides, she would be gone short if we'd ride on. It was Mj's first time to walk the distance of more or less two kilometers.

I pursue walking from 'kanto' to Bautista. It was past 9, when I arrived. There, Mama talked several topics. We tackle Taiwan's arrival last Monday and his 'pasalubongs' from his father-in-law, who just arrived from Saudi. We talked about my presence. She told me all about Chriz--who's jobless nowadays. I also told her that I lost my interest in job-searching. I must not be, she suggested.

During my stay in Bautista, Mama prepared and gave me her omitted stocks and stuffs, such as one kilo of rice, fabric softener, bar soap. etc. I wished I can give back what she's doing to us.

Four, when I was about to leave, Mj arrived. She was feeling nausea. I gave her a cup of coffee. we left after she had drank it.

When we arrive home, she's still vomiting. I wanted to tell her that next time I'll be the one to get our salary,but I did not say it. I'm ashamed-- ashamed to ask for our P2000 monthly wage.

I watered my plants, pursued my landscaping project, planted the plants, that I brought from Bautista and cooked our dinner.

"Lord, God, thank You for the P500-and-3-kilos-of-rice blessings from Lola. Bless her, Oh, God. Thank You, though Tita Neng announced that she was told by Ka Sonny to give our salary only every last day of the month. It somehow gives us hope for thriving. We were now forced to be wiser on budgeting-- which we really do and practice ever since. I'm sincere, Lord when I said to Mj that I would not ever be anxious to have a formal kitchen. What's important to me is we are not hungered, or we will not starve, especially Hanna. I only want to secure my loved ones' health, so as mine-- never mind the TV. It will come. Lord, pardon us. Amen!"

While I was writing, I remember that this day is Mj and I's "32nd mensisary'. I will write a note tonight for her.

 

September 7, 2006

Five to seven, I rose up and prepared our breakfast. I did it almost an hour due to timbers. It does not make me mad, however.

While dining the hot soup, Mj noticed my note I jot down last night. She thanked me with a blush. I think it was "Let's just be happy oftentimes" that gladdens her.

In fact, she gave me time to do my chores while she attended Hanna Margaret. By doing this, she made me happy. Being occupied completes my day. I won't sit all day long.

Our lunch was adobong sitaw with longganisa.

After having it, I did carpentry. At two PM, I have completed a shelf for our figurines and other personalized curios.

The rain falls at past 3. But I have already done field works such as mulching and landscaping. I was boiling water for coffee when it happens. It scared me, huh! The wind was so furious that might destruct my newly renovated kitchen. Thanks, God it doesn't happen.

Our dinner was sinigang na longganisa with pechay. It's my first time to cook this menu. It's yummy!

After supper, I reorganized our knick-knacks inside. I also covered this book.

All in all, today's such a productive happy day! I also want to mention the happiness brought by smart Hanna. She could now imitate us when we say, "I love you.'' She just has a different dialect. Yet, you could understand that she's expressing those words. It really gladdens me.

 

September 8, 2006

Since I was visited again by my back arthritis, I didn't get up early. Seven, when I rose up. And, after breakfast, I stayed home. I didn't do field work. Besides, it rains yesterday.

Nine, I bought mineral water in Boso-Boso central. It was the second time buying our drinking water. It's too far in fact, but we need to buy. Water we get from our well is not yet potable. It's still sandy, although it's clear. We're using it in cooking but not in drinking-- especially without process of boiling.

Mineral water is another expense. It somehow jeopardizes our budget.

Our lunch was rice-and-guisadong-monggo. I think it increases my backache's pain. Thus, I haven't done anything productive today. Yet, I have done my usual chores and helped MJ in her laundry.

"Lord, God, thank You for everything --for the air we breathe, for the water we drink, for the land we live on, for the food we eat, for the life we use. For everything. Pardon us. Protect us from bad elements --illnesses, accidents, harms, and enemies. In Jesus' name, Amen!"

 

September 9, 2006

When I rose up at 6 AM and went down, I felt cold breeze due to fogs. The next thing happened was I go back to my 'higaan.' I was there for almost an hour feeling the warm embrace of my blanket.

After our breakfast, I then felt laziness. I was so indolent to work even to fetch water, yet I was forced to do so. Best thing is it stimulates me to do hyperactive works. I cut some tall weeds around the house. It was due to the tidings in the radio. There's a dengue outbreak in Morong, Rizal so as in Quezon City. I have to protect Hanna, so as ourselves in the bites of dengue-carrying mosquitoes.

Eleven, I was cooking our viand which was 'egg adobo'. My in-laws unexpectedly arrived. I left my cooking to get the mineral water they left there.

Their presence was both blessing and 'antonym of it'. Blessing, because they brought 4 kilos of rice, mineral water, carton of Bear Brand milk and fish from Lola, as usual. Not blessing, because I have been so occupied. I was the one who cooked our lunch. Another, the rain falls before I finished frying—not to mention the fact that they did not buy charcoal. We only used timbers.

However, I was thankful that they were commanded by Lola just to send the merchandise to us. Lola is indeed kind, so thoughtful. I wish she would be blessed always. And 'Sana sya na lang ang amo namin!" She's more thoughtful than Calove—who's our real boss.

Past one, my in-laws went home. I ate again. I haven't had a formal lunch due being occupied a while ago. Mj was wondering about my appetite. I've been so 'magana' these few days. I was always hungry. I thought it's my time to gain weight and be 'mataba'. It's my greatest frustration. I must spoil my appetite so that I'd be fat –not fat but masculine. Wow! Let me imagine myself.

Now. I'm not that worried to our budget. Lola is always there to help. I just hope she's always blessed with financial matter. Calove , however, must be ashamed if he learns about it. If Lola's plan of putting our kitchen and the gate, Ka Sonny must also be insulted. He is the one who supposedly spending on them. But what he is doing is that he's letting someone to spend on behalf of him. Someday, he will lose his money from whatever useless things and will realize his stinginess and closed handedness.

We only have P280 in our hands. It's supposed to be budgeted till the last day of September. Yet, I'm not afraid if we spend it within a week because Lola understands us. Besides, Jesus is always there to provide. He's the greatest provider. All I must do now is cook or eat whatever I want to.

 

September 10, 2006

Since I haven't had to cook, I went back to sleep after waking up at six. It was seven when I rose up to boil water for our hot morning drinks.

I did field works even without waiting Mj to finish her usual chores. Hanna's 'pasaway' so I must stop for a while.

Nine, the sun rays were already penetrating to skin. I, then, postponed my works and rested. While resting, I thought of going to Bautista. It's family day today! Mj agreed to stay there for a night. However, I remember Chriz. We have no more space if we do so. Alas! Sunday TV shows are worth watching for, I only enjoyed TV-watching only on Sundays (from morning till midnight). I just hoped we would have a television set as soon as tomorrow.

Mj, as a matter of fact, approached me, asking if I want to redeem Bernie-Michelle's TV from a repair shop. I said, I wanted to, but the real score is the money. Besides, we must prioritize the acquisition of rice cooker. I then suggested telling Lola about it.

Three, I was in great confusion. I didn't know what snacks to buy, so as our viand. Mj wants RC cola and 'kakanin'. If only I am not thinking of our budget, I wanted to. She also proposed 'tuyo' as viand but her condition was, I have to buy cold soft drinks.

When I came back from store, she couldn't do anything but to accept what I have bought: half kilo of pork, breads and coffee. I preferred coffee over cola—which will only give us happiness once. It will only quench our thirst once.

I've said that I'm not afraid now to our budget deficiency, but I still have to economize, without compromising our health. We must still spend wisely.

Tomorrow, I will go to Bautista, early. I've told it to Mj.

 

September 11, 2006

After cooking rice for Mj's lunch and boiling water for our coffee, I left home to Bautista. It was 6:10 AM. Despite the drizzle, I still went on. I walked all the way to our house. I made it for 48 minutes.

There, Mama entertained me with her saved foods. while watching TV, we talked about many things. One of them was our yesterday's conversation about redeeming the TV of Gregorio's couple. She suggested to prioritize the acquisition of TV because it has so many advantages compared to rice cooker. Besides, the latter will only use timbers in cooking or in boiling water. Rice cooker is not that so versatile.

One of the reasons of going to Bautista was to ask plants to Mama so that I could finish my landscaping project in our house. Thus, when I go home at 1:30 PM, I've got a plastic bag of multifarious ornamental plants. Mama is indeed so supportive to me. She suggested oftentimes to plant and plant so that the owner, visitors as well will compliment us-- not to mention its therapeutic effects to the dwellers.

Though, sunrays were at its peak, I still planted them. I, then do my chores early. in fact, I was still in the garden till six fifteen. If only I was not delayed by timbers (which were not dried evenly) when I cooked our dinner, I would have done several garden works.

I related to Mj about what Mama, and I talked about, especially her suggestion. She agreed too. Maybe because I have enticed her with what I televiewed a while ago.

Eight PM, I've personalized a frame for Bodjie's photograph, that I'll give to Mma --who told me to do so.

Today is 5th anniversary of 9/11. I really don't care. however, news made me 'unlaid-back'. Besides, it's memorable to me. I was then on a bus to Manila, from Bulan. It was the time that I've decided to stop temporarily my studies due to financial crisis. When I arrived at Infinite Enterprises, Auntie Vangie shows me the news about it.

Eight-thirty, Hanna was still wide-awake. She seems like to play. Mj was beating her physically and scolding her, while I was doing this. An unexpected incident happened-- Hanna cries without a sound (soundless, huh) for a long second. It made me shout for her name. Mj throws her up till a sound of cry was heard. It scared me. I then condemned Mj about it. I said, she should have let her do what she wants. She will sleep if she's sleepy. Besides, it's too early.

This incident wasn't new to me. However, it's the worst, so far. The longest soundless cry.

"Lord, God, please take away Hanna's crying-without-sound. I know it's dangerous. She becomes black during this disease (if it's considered disease). Please, don't let it happens again. Thank You.

 

September 12, 2006

Seven AM, since Mj was still lying down, Hanna and I went to the store to buy instant noodles for breakfast.

At first, I thought, my morning was good. however, when I was cooking, I was 'bad tripped' by timbers. It was not the first disturbance. Yet it's the most devastating and maddening. it makes me fret. Everything around me seemed annoying.

Mj and I did our parts. I gathered timbers. She soaked the clothes and attended Hanna. I was still silent --so as MJ. And Hanna has been so naughty and 'pasaway' today. We have had to focus on he even though we want to do something.

After snacks, I did field-gardenworks: weeding, watering, planting, etc. I also tried to burn some dried leaves to enable to shoo away mosquitoes. But it was distracted by the rain.

A while ago, when I bought breads, I was discouraged by a body odor of my crush, who is a sibling of the owner of the store. My admiration for her was gone because of her physical negligence.

If Mj knows it, I'm sure, she will kid me endlessly.

Night activity, which is reading, gave me crucial info. I've learned tonight some meaning of words. I've also read about the writing techniques such as writing process, improving the word usage, and improving sentences. In fact, I tore up the pages about it and filed-bound together. It is a such a big help for me, since I love writing.

We only have P100 on our palms. I'm now thinking of the means so that it stays for at least 3 to 4 days. Hanna's milk is about to be out of stock. Good thing is if Lola arrives morrow. If not, it's okay. I'll make sure there's P38 left for Mj's fare to 'bayan'. I'm just thankful that we still have rice ob our rice can.

Prayer Concern, tonight: Happiness and contentment.

 

September 13, 2006

When I got up very early in the morning, I have already planned what t buy in the store. I grabbed up Hanna since Mj was still lying on.

In the store, the male store owner asked me several questions. He made sure If I am really a resident of Bautista (Sitio Calumpang). He secondly questioned me if we're staying again here in Cadcad, since I have told him that we were fleeing due to filthy odor of undeposited hog manures of our neighbor. But the most startling query he questioned was about our salary. I said in a jiffy: "P4000". It was the amount I always reply to somebody who asks. Telling the truth -- a truth that we're only receiving P2000 per month, is such a shame, is indeed hard! However, the owner burst her agreement, "Pwede na! Kesa naman sa pag-eempleyado." After that, I left quickly. If he only knew.

Both Mj and I were still quiet today. I don't know what was happening to us. We're not on war yet not in peace.

Despite of our dealings-to-each-other, we undertake our chores, as in. She gives way so that I could do whatever I want to.

This day, I have accomplished various tasks. Morning. I cleaned the surroundings so that mosquitoes and snakes stay away with us. Afternoon. I pursued cleaning and I planted too. I also watered the plants.

Past six, when I was resting from garden works, I matter-of-factly announced, enough to be heard by Mj, that we only have P67.75 on my wallet. I expect from her a conversation, but she didn't say a thing, except to a repetition of the said amount. I thought she would converse with me after I cooked her favorite ---champorado as our merienda. She remained quiet. So, do I.

I wanted to make a mood or idea board, but I have no materials. I wanted to start preparing Christmas Tree, but I have no materials. Haay! If only I could magic to have what I need.

"Lord, please, bless us!"

 

September 14, 2006

Last night, 8 PM, I drafted an essay about literature. It's half-done because I was so sleepy.

When I woke up today, I felt stranger laziness. I wanted to stay inside the house and do nothing. However, an industrious side of me pushed me to move on. the next thing happened; I have got a callous hand.

Mj was still quiet. The house would be so boring if Hanna is not present. She really completes the home!

Past three, I told Mj that she has to leave because we only have P40+ on my wallet. She strongly declined. I let her think about it, while I was watering the plants and burning the dried leaves/weeds. However, she was sturdy on her point. We take an hour on this disagreement.

Five-thirty, I gave up. I agreed on her. We'll go to Bautista. And tomorrow she and Hanna will go to 'bayan'. However, when we're walking to Boso-Boso central, Mj saw the two robbers on our back. We knew they knew me. In lieu, we postponed our trip. They might rob us again tonight if we'll still leave.

Since, we have no more stock, we decided to cook champorado-- which was only complemented with cocoa and sugar, for our dinner. Never mind. At least, we have eaten a perfect champorado, last merienda.

Because of this supposed sojourn, I have learned that Mj was angry with me. I don't exactly know why. Maybe it's due to last last night incident. If that was so, she so sensitive now, huh! Sabagay! She's pregnant, pala.

While waiting for Mj, I reword my essay which was half-done. I changed topic. Past eight, I've written a new one --which was all about writing. It's yet untitled and drafted. However, when I read it aloud to Mj, I liked it! Mj doesn't appreciate any of my writings. I should say, she does not understand those. Bahala siya!

"Lord, God, bless us tomorrow. Protect us. Make us safe in our 'lakad'. Amen!"

 

September 15, 2006

Minutes to go before five, I got up and woke Mj up. We then prepare to our 'walkathon'.

Five-twelve, we started walking. More than 30 minutes, we arrived at the highway. Mj and Hanna rode to 'bayan'. I went on walking.

Six-five, I was in Bautista. Chriz was sleeping still. I was so careful to my words. I made sure every phrase; I voice out would be nice. He might be listening to our conversation. I don't want him to know about our crisis.

Eight-thirty, after I've done several things downhill (such as getting mangoes and helping Mam in her endeavor to gather cassavas), Taiwan arrived. I thanked God for I wanted to watch (KSS Kabuhayang Swak na Swak).

I immediately set on the TV. While Taiwan directed Mama to buy breakfast. After a while, we ate breakfast.

Taiwan announced that Yoshimi will be Christened on October 7, 2006, simultaneous to his birthday. Mama, Chriz and suggested to him the compound as a venue. However, it was set already. Fine!

Mama and I agreed upon the presentation of a dish for Yoshimi's 'handa'. Mama came out with the idea of cooking 'pasta with white sauce'.

Twelve-forty-five, Chriz and I took in our lunch together. We had a talk. He asked me if I was looking for a job. Yes! I spoke. But I have no money yet for fare, besides Mj needs me. She doesn't know how to cook, I added. He agreed to me about the fact that the fare is the problem in job-searching. After we dined in, I asked him again if his family is living in with his in-laws. I could see his astonishment. He just nodded. I knew he's not okay. I questioned him again if his in-laws are nice to him. He nodded again. After that, he looked at a distant, trying to stop me from asking. He then left.

I realized next, that I am luckier than him. Auntie Vangie once compared us. She favored Chriz. But now, I think, I am more accomplished than him.

Two, Chriz left home. He was going home to his family.

Past three, I also left Bautista. I was given P20 by Taiwan through the help of Mama-- who offered me P50. I just declined to received it.

Minute to go before four, I was home. The cluttered surroundings shocked me. It’s Lassie who did it, I knew! I was so furious. I wanted to kill her, but she hid away. I haven't done anything but to pick every piece of torn paper and bitten dish washing paraphernalia--not to mention the leaves of my plants.

I watered the plants, next. I also burnt dried 'something' so that mosquitoes stay away our house. I did some planting, too.

Five-thirty, I quit anticipating for my 'mag-ina'. I then bought sugar. I would just have coffee and boil cassava tonight. There are enough for me. I remember what Mama said about me. According to her, I was getting thinner again. I should eat rice tonight so that I would gain weight, but we really have no more stock. It's okay.

Eight, I listened to a radio show-- that tackled Civil Service Commission exam. It is on October 22, 2006. The last day of registration is September 22, 2006. I'm indeed interested to take ever since, but the fate did not permit me.

 

September 16, 2006

It was 6:30 AM when I was awakened by whatsoever, yet I did not rise. I tried to sleep again but it frustrates me. I just spent one hour thinking for multifarious matters.

After my breakfast, I did garden works till 9:20. I started waiting for my 'mag-ina.' Eleven, I gave up. yet, Tito Jun and company of four arrived. They just dropped by.

After lunch, I took a rest. I lied down because my back was aching. Two, my 'mag-ina' arrived.

Mj got P1000. This amount was loaned to Tita Alon. Lola has no money. It disappoints me. Our plan of redeeming the TV might be postponed.

While we're having our merienda, Mj asked me again if I want to marry her of if I'm interested in "Kasalang-Bayan" on October 15. I said "No." I'm interested really but I just want to kid her.

We also have planned to go to Bautista, but we ended up in staying home due to several reasons-- such as presence of Chriz, Jazzy and security of our house.

Prayer Concern, tonight: My marketing job tomorrow in Cogeo.

 

September 17, 2006

In a wee time, I got up to walk through the highway. I made it in 30 minutes.

Six, I was in Cogeo already. My moves were planned beforehand, so I have been systematic. I have bought everything in the list so as the things not listed, yet we need.

Seven-thirty, I was in the jeep to Boso-Boso. Eight, I was home. My 'mag-ina' has just woke-up the time of my arrival.

I have a P100 kickback from our own budget for Mama-and-I's plan of presenting Yoshimi a pasta with white sauce on her baptismal day. I have also kept a small can of 'Maling'. I announced then, that the change from P900+ was only P5. She suspected me not since I have bought what I have listed, so as those not in the list.

Ten minutes after my arrival, Jano, Gie and Flor arrived. They're gonna wash clothes here because water supply skipped to do their service. They have had a 'pasalubongs' for Hanna.

Jano gave a pork for our lunch. I thanked God. I, so, did the cooking. Another good thing was they left us with less than 10 cuts of pork. It would be for our dinner.

They left home at two.

I, then, told Mj that I wanted to marry her on October 14 at the "Kasalang-Bayan". She was proposing at me weeks ago. At first, she does not believe me. Later, she assured it from me –which I declared seriously. I just reminded her that I have no birth certificate. So, if ever I would have to spend pesos just to acquire a copy from NSO, I will not insist. Then, I could see her eagerness to our marriage as if I must marry her in the soonest time.

Afterwards, we were astonished by sleeping snake in the CR. Mj cried out when she saw it. She was about to poo, huh!

My flesh was trembling, yet I was eager to kill it. Thus, after a while, I have killed through my short bolo. We then realized that good thing Jano and Gie –who took a bath before the incident happens, were not bitten. It was a medium-sized snake, huh!

Night. Mj resisted me from leaving home early morrow. It may be because of the incident.

I wanted to rest early because I knew walking burns fat. But I have no fats to be burned. Thus, I must stop walking often.

For now, I did not know if I will go or not. "Lord, God, decide for me..."

 

September 18, 2006

Since, I've already decided not to go to Bautista, I did not wake up early. Walking is really tiring-- especially if you will do it as often as every day.

Our breakfast was rice-and-leftover-adobo. Our lunch was rice-and-sinigang-na-longganisa. We have plenty of stocked viands. But we have no more rice. I did not feel guilty of kick-backing. I knew Lola will arrive this week with rice.

I cooked rice very early at 5 due to approaching great rain. The rice I cooked was actually lack or not the usual measure. Tomorrow, we might not eat. I have then thought the idea of going to our house and my 'mag-ina' will go to theirs. I will tell MJ that she must tell the condition of Jazzy, who was coughing hardly with excretion of phlegm. Besides, she must prepare our marriage/wedding. Also, I will let her think that I'm going to borrow money to Mama for her fare so as for our rice.

Mj and I, both decided to get Tito Jun as our godfather. However, when she looked st Elek's invitational wedding sample, she found out that Tito Jun is included in the array of principal sponsors. I think it so over if we get him too. Then, Mj thought, in lieu, of Tito Jay.

Yesterday, I suggested 'Nanay Sally' --Taiwan's mother-in-law, as godmother. Yet, Mj hasn't agreed. She at first wanted Gie's mother. Whoever!

 

September 19, 2006

Quarter to five, we were awakened by the clock's alarm. Past five, when we started to walk through Bautista. There, Chriz was still in his 'higaan' and was forced to get up due to our early arrival.

We didn't keep our intentions or reasons of presence. We really intend to go there because of Jazzy's severe cough and the intent of getting banana seedlings.

Past seven, my 'mag-ina' left Bautista. Then, Mama and I went downhill for the bananas.

We've got four seedlings --two of them were 'saba' and the other two were variety of 'butuan' and 'lakatan'.

Eight-thirty, I watched "Kabuhayang Swak na Swak', a business TV show of ABS-CBN. One of the segments of the show interests me. It was the story of a teacher who started to sell CDO products in their school. She started with a P500 capital. It has been a successful business. Thus, I jotted down the CDO number. I'll tell it to MJ.

Nine-thirty, the arrival of my 'mag-ina' startled me. I reckoned they would arrive in the afternoon. She related me the whole story.

She called at Lola's house. Tita Ning was the one who entertained her call, who slightly blamed her for telling it late (which was not true). She was then told by Lola to go home because Tito Jun might come with a veterinary. She hasn't even had a rest or eaten some breakfast.

On the way home, I have been so 'nanghihinayang' to the money spent for her fare-- which she knew a debt to Mama.

I cooked early since I felt hunger. I, then, again investigated Mj. Next thing happened was the worrying. God knows why.

Tiyo Ruben and a driver of a car arrived after I've finished my lunch. My greatest worry becomes fear.

I pretended. It was my fault.

I asked pardon to the Lord.

Finally, the fear becomes battle. Mj and Tiyo Ruben opposed. They're both hot-tempered due to the lost dog chain. Mj cried out her grievances. She was ignited by what Tiyo Ruben dialogued. the latter said: "Pinapasuweldo naman kayo. Aso lang, ‘di niyo maalagaan." It hurts me, too. My tears fell a bit. We, then, decided, after the two left without Jazzy, to leave this house or to quit this caretaking job as soon as possible.

One PM, I walked again to "Kanto ng Boso-Boso'. I would tell the incident to Mama.

There, my mother was affected. She agreed to our decision. She was worried about the pregnancy of Mj. I could see her tears in her eyes, yet they stay there. I've then told her about our plan of getting married.

Four, my in-laws dropped by. They already have been in Cadcad since I saw the doghouse on the car. They told me to go home as Mj requested. So, I did! Mama lent me P20 for fare.

Here, I cooked pancakes in a jiffy while investigating Mj about the reactions of her family. My in-laws were supportive to our decision. In fact, they would come back for our belongings.

Haay! It's so 'sayang'! I really don't want to leave. Yet, I must accept the consequence of it. Besides, my wrong deed contributed to it.

"Lord God, pardon me. Don't let this known to Mj to her family and relatives. Let me learn my mistake. Bless us, God. Give me a milking cow. Amen!"

 

September 20, 2006

Seven, when we, three, woke up. I cooked pancakes for breakfast.

After I let Mj did her chores, I fenced my plants such as guyabano, cashew, santol, avocado and others so that they will not be accidentally cut by the grasscutter. I wanted them to grow to enable them to know that I have spent my months here planting. They would make me remembered.

Mj and I were planning to leave this house today, but we end up in staying till Lola came. As of now, I really don't know if I will give up. It's been so hard for me to abandon this --especially my plants. I've made great effort to make them survive. Even though, we're lack food, I still preferred to stay because my plants cry whenever I attempt to leave them.

My partner seems to be hesitant. she too wants to stay. Since we were about to be four-membered family, we must have a separate, private life. And, living here is the best opportunity. However, our bosses and Mj's relatives must be sensitive enough to our needs --not to mention our wants. To fully increment the gratitude, they must produce us with kitchen, that is properly built; with TV, even a surplus one, as long as we would be entertained in our boring hours here; and communication gizmo, which will help us convey our important messages during insurgency. They must also increase our salary, considering the cost of living nowadays. Truly, P2000 we're receiving is just good for two weeks not to mention how much we budgeted it very wisely and economically.

Last night, I told Mj about going home to Bulan. She does not agree with it, but she agrees the idea of selling a parcel or the whole lot of ours. I added that if it would so, I would start a business. But the problem is the fare.

"Lord, thank You for all of these. I know it's just a trial. You're merely measuring our patience. But, please, don't castigate us overly. A whip of two does but more than these is hurtful. Lord Jesus, I'm still hoping to Your promises. I know you will give me what I'm longing for on the soonest time. Please, bless us with logical mind--so that we're not easily giving up by just a single blow of the wind. Bless us with patience so that we could not feel emptiness and boredom. Bless us with financial matters so that we could buy the lacking in this house. Thank You! Amen!"

 

September 21, 2006

Despite the problem, I woke up with happy heart. I knew we're about to face in difficulties, but I still did my usual chores. Mj and I were very supportive to each other.

We have no rice for lunch, thus I cooked, in lieu, sotanghon. Good thing, we have lots of canned goods.

Two, before the rain falls, we left the house to Bautista. We were then decided to leave the house totally. We walked through the highway with a heavy bag of Hanna's stuffs and our remaining stocks. Mj and Hanna rode on from 'Kanto'. I continued walking, which I coincidentally saw Arthuro in the highway. He has known about our decision.

In Bautista, Mama told Jano about our problem. She dramatically related everything, which made Jano agreed. The latter was willing to support our decision. He later pushed me again to find a job.

It's supposed to be what I have to prioritize. I must be employed so that I could earn for a capital. I actually talked to Mj about my business plans. I proposed to her the loading business, which she agreed upon. We just hoped we would be able to ask for our remaining P1000 salary. It's a big help.

I wanted to watch TV till midnight, yet my eyes were so heavy. Besides, I was so tired.

Hanna becomes cryingly. We're all disturbed. Good thing she has fallen asleep again.

 

September 22, 2006

Since Flor and Jano were waking up early, Hanna, too was awakened. It was 4:30 when she got up. Mj and my sleep were disturbed. Thus, we got up early.

Eight-thirty, while watching TV, Rodea saw and talked to me. She startled me about her learning. She has known to her Mj's pregnancy. Then, I asked her, too if she's really pregnant. She says she's just 3 weeks delayed.

After 20 minutes, my in-laws arrived. Mj and I came with them to Boso-Boso. Good thing, Rodea was not able to come with us due to crying Lorenzo, her nephew. I don't want her to see our place.

There, we packed our things up. They unscrewed the well-meter. I was so sad while doing it. This decision somehow bled my heart.

Ten-thirty, we left the house. We almost emptied the dwellings.

Godby, Cadcad! Goodbye, house!

In Bautista, we have had a few rearrangements due to our stuffs. Good thing is Hanna was sleeping. We're not disrupted by her.

While doing this, working at the garments (Infinite Enterprises) crossed my mind. I will eat my pride just to earn money. If it is the only way to overcome this crisis, I will.

I also want to talk to Taiwan about his 'endo' and about loading racket. I want to inquire how much will it costs if we start this, such like how Jenny did.

Three-thirty, Hanna and I went to Auntie Helen's house. I would try to communicate with them to let them know what had happened to us in Cadcad. By that, Auntie Helen might channel it through Auntie Vangie, who might hire me, again.

There, we (I, Tintin and April) conversed not in plasticity. Yet, I have been so careful in every word I said. I also flaunted the smartness of my daughter. They were amazed, I think, of what Hanna showed.

When Jano arrived, Hanna also showed smartness. She blesses to Jano not knowing the 'pasalubong' she would receive from her uncle.

 

September 23, 2006

We, again, got up in wee time. I thought of going to Boso-Boso so I can get all our left stuffs there, yet I was stopped by laziness.

I then started to feel unproductive. I want to establish our lives. The thought of future made me worried. I don't like to spend hours doing nothing, gaining nothing. I like to do business.

Thus, I took up everything from the TV show that will be helpful in putting-up of business in the future. I gathered addresses and numbers. I've learned franchising opportunity.

Mj and I did not speak to each other due to hot water for Hanna's bath. She wanted it to be added up by cold water, but I declined to. As a result, we clashed. we've been quiet all day.

Jano and Gie arrived. They have poorly brought 'pasalubongs' for us. They have CD's rented at "Video City'. We watched immediately. It was 'Beethoven's 5th. It's followed by the 'The Grudge'.

I've been so sleepy, yet I managed to finish them. They're both nice. I still watched TV.

Prayer Concern, tonight: Good news for my career.

 

September 24, 2006

Past five, Hanna disturbed our sleeps. She was taken out from the mosquito net by Mama so we could sleep again. Seven, when we rise. Mj prepared their stuffs for going to Rancho. Eight, they left.

I, then, swept the cemented water tank just to hide myself in being seen by Kuya Eirish who arrived before Mj left, with company. Amid my work, Jano arrived from wherever and asked me if I want to work in Comelec. It gladdens me. It's an answered prayer. Although, he says it's only good for a month, it will still be helpful to me, to us.

Mama, too, was so excited to this. She's thinking of Hanna's needs. So, do I. I must earn for our living. I wanted to help Jano and Mama, too, in finances.

Since the electric current disrupted our day, I have come to an idea of going downhill. I, then climbed mangoes and pulled up trees to be 'bonsai-ed'.

Past one, the current resumed. We immediately played VCD. I thought I could watch TV. Good thing, I liked the film we viewed. It was 'Aeon Flux."

Jano and Gie left I've heard that they're going to Comelec to refer me. I was hoping I could start early as possible.

Four, I helped Mama in household chores --especially in cooking. We've had a nice mother-and-son conversation. We've talked about the possible job in Comelec and its advantages to me and to us. We also included Chriz in our talks-- who arrived at past six.

Chriz and I talked about jobs. He was inviting me to ty applying at call centers, which I dreamed of. I told him I've long to work at it but I don't have an idea how to start the application. Besides, I was then discouraged by what I have seen in TV, that competitive applicants must know how to speak international language with accent. For me, it's such like a gay lingo. I want to be a natural speaker.

More than ten minutes ago, Jano and Gie arrived. Jano told us that his ex-Comelec big boss is not capable (yet) to hire employees because City Government had not yet directed them to do so. City Government of Antipolo will either give them personnel or let them choose ones. Whatever! I'm still hoping.

I cooked 'GG paksiw' because Mama wanted to rest. I also washed the dishes. I didn't do it to impress Jano but to help, especially Mama. She must rest from day-long house-working.

Prayer Concern, tonight: Job in Comelec.

 

September 25, 2006

For the first time, I had a tight sleep till six AM. In fact, I haven't felt the noises of Jano, Gie and Flor, who all rose up early at 4:30. I had also a nice feeling.

While waiting for Chriz to get up, I busied myself up. I gathered my recent literary pieces by jotting them down in a notebook. They're only the pieces left from 5 years of writing, so I promised myself to take care of them. I don't want to lose them anymore just like my several compositions. Alas! I've lost seven separate notebooks of writings. I was, as if, starting to collect all over again. I have written, I mean, compiled seven in all. Not bad. Plus, the unfinished script, 'Tinta'.

Afternoon, I was missing out Hanna Margaret, so as Mama. We, thus, spend boring time in the garden. Three, when they arrived. Their arrival stimulates us.

Mj told me about the house in Polot. It doesn't startle me. What shocked me was the truth that she was unblessed today. It frustrates me. I expect we could buy rice for our dinner, but she only has P10 left in her pocket. It resulted to a slight problem. We (Mama and I) don't know what to do, where to get rice. We had a hard time convincing Flor to buy even a half kilo or owe to Arlene. Good thing is she instead borrowed to Rose.

Mj gave me an idea of applying at Gie's uncle's bakery. According to her, Onel and Edgar were planning to go back to Polot, thus, their positions will be vacant.

I hoped Gie would come over tonight, so that I could ask her if Gretchen could help me have a job and so that I could tell and inquire from her about her relative's bakery.

However, she was not with Jano when the latter arrived. It's okay!

Due to tiresome and sleepiness, I quit TV-watching very early at 10, although I wanted to watch late night shows. I instead asked God for the answer of my wishes.

 

September 26, 2006

We all have a breakfast-less morning. Yet, it doesn't put us in fretting. Besides, we have had hot drink. Breakfast really starts the day right, but it does not necessarily mean you'd be mad if you don't have it. Waking up, alone, is such a blessing. Having a breakfast is just a plus.

Mama had a hard, long time owing two kilograms of rice and can of sardines for our lunch—while I was preparing the 'malunggay.' I did the cooking, so that I could gladden Mama and alleviate her burden.

I cooked the "Moka" (coffee-and-evaporated milk) into 'yema’ because it was already expired since July 8, 2006. Good thing is I've been successful in cooking it. Good thing (again) is we were not poisoned by it. We have already consumed 2 cans of them.

Again, I cooked our dinner. I prepared 'sardine patties' and 'pork-mashed-potato-patties. They were yummy! The latter menu was first cooked by me. I should say, I am really a very good cook.

Mama opened up to Jano about my plan of working in Gie's tito's bakery. The latter disagreed because he's pessimistic about what my in-laws might imply about it. It doesn't matter to me. I'm not ashamed of it. I told her that it's the best thing to do since I don't have the requirements needed in job-searching. Mama added the second intention which is to know how to bake. Baking is a best practical know-how that will be a business consideration.

Jano said "Bahala ka!"

 

September 27, 2006

We all have an egg for breakfast. It almost makes our day imperfect when I saw Mama in the kitchen with tears in her faces. She was choked by an egg?! I pity her.

While Mj and I were watching TV, we have talked about business. I told her that I'm so interested in franchising "Smart Bro DSL' for P2,600 a month. Actually, it's not a franchise because they are not just selling their brand name. They are helping people I put up a business using their name. The set up inspires me to work. I must work so that I could save for a needed capital. Ten thousand, I reckon, is enough to enable to start my own.

I told her too that capital is the mere problem. I have the business prospects already. I then wished for job. The job that is needless to pass requirements is the one I am looking for.

Quarter to ten, I went downhill. I have gotten two 'inflorescence' and four dwarf trees there.

After 'bonsaing' the trees, I prepared our lunch which was 'sinigang na maling sa puso ng saging.'.Our viand was very good. Tasty!

After lunch, Mama related to me the pitiful life story of Rodea. According to her, the latter was being condemned by her family due to her 'unwanted and untimely pregnancy. She was now on a great confusion whether to carry her baby or not.

Then, I realized, "Not all family understands the member in times of chaos" I don't know! But, I think, Ate Diyang needs support now. Abortion is ungodly.

I'm just thankful to God that I have a supportive and understanding family. Ever since our (Mj-and-I) love story begins, with high commendation to Mama, she gave us unconditional love. She's been an open-minded mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother to the three of us. And now that we're facing a new struggle in life, she's there all the way. I knew it's hard for her but she's like a superwoman that balances everything so that our lives would be happier.

Ate Diyang deserves an understanding. He baby on her womb is a God's gift. They must know that baby will serve a vital role in their family. She must not kill him. She can overcome all of these just how Mj and I went through all the trials regarding Hanna.

Raising a child or children has two facets: the hardship and the advantage. But the parents must reject or neglect the first and must focus on what a child could bring or give. Happiness! It's the most precious thing you could now buy.

Thus...

I'm now more inspired to earn a living.

"Lord God, thank You for all of these! They made me matured as a father. They made me strong and mighty. God, hear my prayers. Please, give me a source of income. I wanted to help. I'm a good brother, a good son, a good husband, a good father, a good person. And, You know that. Do I deserve this? Lord, pardon me. Amen!"

When Jano arrived without Gie, I was disappointed. I thought I would have a referral for job position like what shoe had told me. Worry started to build up. Hanna's milk is almost out of stock. Shame as well began to grow. Jano might be jeopardized by our stay. I almost cried to these thinking.

 

September 28, 2006

'Milenyo,' a storm, disrupted the electric current since last night. It becomes furious this morning.

Jano was absent, so as Flor, due to the great rain and wind. Besides, classes were suspended since last night.

While experiencing the Signal No.3 storm, we have talked about the house in Boso-Boso, which we abandoned. We couldn't imagine the consequences and contingencies that might occur if we were still dwelling there. That house was indeed poorly built. Our lives were in danger since May 9, 2006—the day we moved in.

Thanks, God, storms (Esther, Florita, Glenda, Henry, Inday, Juan, Katring and Luis) we experienced during our stay in Cadcad which was May 9, 2006 to September 21, 2006, put us in safety. And this storm might have been destructed our dwellings there. It is just okay. Life is the most important of all –not the house, not the plants and trees. Besides, I have lost my care to that house due to what had happened.

The storm strikes at 12. Good thing, we had already our lunch. 'Milenyo' was not that mean. Yet, he gave us mess. He destructed plants and trees. He stops our usual routines.

Four, the rain and wind paused. Jano, then, gave me P50 for our viand. I did not know how to budget it. Thus, I must owe viands to Ate Lani in Veterans. Thanks, God, she sells us in credit.

I owed P100 in all. It comprised of chicken, fish, and onions. I instead bought rice from P50. Haay! If only I am employed.

Mama wasn't in good condition today. Mj and I took over her jobs. Mj washed the dishes while I did the cooking.

The electric current was still no power. Thus, we're all sad, bored, and mad. Candle lights did not bring happiness. It only pushes us to sleep early.

Prayer Concern, tonight: Financial blessings.

 

September 29, 2006

We all woke up very early. We have got so many things to fix. I immediately cooked arrozcaldo for breakfast while sweeping off the leaves.

After breakfast, we faced the clearing operation. God is so kind. He did not castigate our place so hard. Thus, we exerted less efforts in cleaning.

'Milenyo' whipped the country terribly. It caused so much damage. Yet, we're lucky enough that we experience no extreme destruction.

Two, Jano and I went To Cherry Foodarama. It's his birthday today, so he would buy goods for it, not to mention for our consumption in a week.

In the said supermarket, Jano inquired how to apply as a merchandiser. He wants me to be employed. Me, too. I don't want to rely on the milk of Hanna to him, as I did. In fact, I was hoping that he would tell me to get growing-up milk and diapers for Hanna on his account. I knew it would be hard for his 'financiability.' He's just understanding our situation. Yet, I don't want to be at ease on this.

The celebrant had an 'inuman' party here. Our house became noisy and disordered. The only advantage of it was the arrival of Taiwan and his 'mag-ina'. We all missed them especially Yoshimi, who has been the reason of my child's jealousy and tantrum.

Yoshimi is a pretty girl. She was being liked because of her beauty.

Jano and Flor had been biased and unfair critics. They compared Yoshimi and Hanna. And it hurts me. Thanks, God, Mama treats the two equally.

The 'inuman' has finished at 12. But before it was through, Jano, Kuya Rex, Chriz, Tito Boy, and Tito Sam talked about Kuya Tantan. They were so critically cruel towards him, as if they have successfully attained their dreams. "God, pardon them."

 

September 30, 2006

Since we were almost complete, the house becomes busy. Jano and Taiwan do the rooms-division, while I did kitchen works.

Taiwan told me to prepare my NBI clearance. I was so happy that on November 17, I will be going to start the job he would be vacated. I related it excitedly to Mama. I have had hope.

While we're all busy, a guest came over to tell Mama about a cooking project tomorrow in Sauyo, Novaliches for a 'despidida party' of Tita Merly, who's going to fly to Canada. Mama decided to have my assistance. So, we're going to go there hoping for a fair payment.

Five, Mama and I were fetched by Lolo Angel to Nova. Diyang went along with us.

On the way, I felt nausea. Maybe it was due to lack of sleep, tiredness, and air pollution. Then, I blew up.

There, Auntie Euni and Tito Rene's wife were present. Former and I haven't had a time to talk or regard our lives due to lack of time. The two were about to leave.

Since we're there to cook, Mama and I started preparing the meat. I cut the portion for menudo. I also did marinades. Rodea and Juliet had been so useless to our preparation. Yet they contributed some help.

One, when I set myself to sleep, so as Mama. However, I have had a hard time catching it. I think, it was two or past two when I voluntarily closed my eyes.